


Traveling With a Lonely Immortal

by annequinox



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:01:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 42,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29790267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annequinox/pseuds/annequinox
Summary: When Lucy is given a chance to save her mother, she takes it, unbeknownst to her that the cost will be leaving the Heartfilia family forever. In addition to that, she has to spend the rest of her life with the most evil mage of all time and accompany him until her last breath.
Relationships: Zeref Dragneel & Lucy Heartfilia, Zeref Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars." — J.R.R. Tolkien

The mansion of the Heartfilias was cold and void of laughter. Where it was once a place full of music and joy, the house had lapsed into darkness, grieving for the mother that had fallen ill, a step away from death. Every well-known doctor had already came to visit, but none could heal her. It was a curse that was upon her—a curse that only the greatest mage could lift.

But the greatest mage was nowhere to be found. To be exact, no one knew where Zeref was. He was good at hiding and no one dared to search for him. Even those loyal to the Heartfilias couldn't bear to risk their lives to ask him for a cure. Except for one.

Beside the bed where Layla Heartfilia lied, sat her daughter Lucy. She had just turned fifteen this year and she was looking more and more like her mother each day.

"Mom?" she whispered, bringing a hand to brush away the strands of hair from Layla's face. "Are you awake?"

"Yes, Lucy?"

She bit her lip. "When will you get better?"

"I…" Layla paused, eyes clouding with anguish. "Soon, sweetheart. Soon."

Lucy frowned. She didn't tell her that she didn't believe her, but she bid her mother goodnight and left the room. Her heartbeat picked up and she was on edge. She knew her mother would never get better. She heard her father tell that to the head maid. Truthfully, she could see it herself.

Death. It was written all over Layla's face. It was looming over her like a shadow, sucking away at her soul and leaving none of it behind. She didn't have much time left. A year, at most. Maybe even less.

Breathing heavy, Lucy turned to her room. She knew how to heal her, she just didn't know where to find him. But if there was one thing Lucy had that everyone else didn't, that was courage. She was going to find Zeref and ask him to heal her mother. Even if she had to beg, she will. She would do _anything_.

Her mind set, she packed her things before she could change her mind. She brought only little—a map, money, her keys, her whip, two sets of clothing, toiletries and her mother's necklace.

She was fifteen. But she was braver than everyone else she knew.

And this was how their story began.

旅

It was warm in Magnolia, something she did not predict. Sweating in her coat and pants, she stopped by an inn to rest for the night. It was only two days ago when she left home. So far, she wasn't caught yet. She was wondering if she had made the right decision, but then again, they couldn't stop her now.

She stripped off her coat and sweater. The weather was too warm for her choice of clothing, and she had never been outside the Heartfilia Konzern so she didn't know what it would be like outside. Wiping away the sweat on her neck and temples, she took her purse and headed out to shop for summer clothing.

The town was nice. She liked the river crossing in between the buildings, and she found herself walking on the edge. The people were polite and kind, offering her directions when she was getting lost. If she wasn't on a quest to search for Zeref, maybe she would even stay here. There was a guild here that she would love to join—Fairy Tail. It was the strongest guild in Fiore. Perhaps, if the circumstances were different, she would be a mage there.

Smiling sadly to herself, she shook her head. It wasn't the time to think about the "what ifs". She had to find Zeref and save her mother.

Lucy found a cozy little shop that sold clothes at a cheap price. She bought herself one shirt, a tank top, a mini skirt and shorts. She didn't know if this would all fit in her tiny bag, so she also made the decision to buy a bigger one. It fit her back, and it didn't seem too heavy.

Content with her cart, she paid for everything and left to return to her inn. On her way out, she bumped into a pink-haired boy and a blue cat.

"Ow," she groaned, rubbing her butt where she had fallen.

"Sorry 'bout that!"

She looked up and squinted her eyes, trying to get a better look at the boy that was offering his hand to her. She took it and he pulled her up.

"Hey, you look new!" he said, grinning. "I'm Natsu, and this is my cat, Happy!"

The cat spun in the air. It had _wings_. "Aye sir!"

"Lucy," she muttered, looking at Happy while she picked up her belongings.

"What? Did you say your name's Luigi?" Natsu asked, blinking wildly. "Nice to meet you, Luigi!"

Lucy's eye twitched and she swallowed thickly, thinking that she should leave now. "Sure… I have to go now."

"Aw, come on! We just met, how about buying me lunch?"

"No thanks."

"Please?"

"I'm broke," she lied, walking away from the duo hurriedly. She couldn't be distracted, she had limited money and she couldn't waste them on some… some pink-haired weirdo.

Natsu huffed and crossed his arms. "Fine then! See you around, Luigi!"

Lucy didn't say anything in return, but in her head, she thought she may have said something nice if she had the time to. Maybe.

旅

She heard from one of the dark guilds that Zeref had been spotted in Bosco, so that was her next destination after Clover Town. It was proving hard to travel via train all the time, so at the moment, she was taking jobs to save up for a Magical Vehicle—a four wheel vehicle, to be exact. It was going to save a lot of money and time.

Home was so faraway now. Lucy admitted that sometimes she felt lonely, traveling alone. But the thought of going home, her mother welcoming her with open arms, gave her hope and motivation to continue. She didn't know if she could actually find Zeref. She didn't really think this through. However, if the gods were with her and if the heavens loved her as much as they loved her mother, then maybe they would help her reach him.

"You seem to be at the beginning of a long journey, young lady."

Startled, Lucy turned to an old woman who sat outside a bakery. She was looking at her and her eyes were full of things she could not name.

Nervous, the girl could only smile. "Yes, I am."

"I hope you reach your goal," the old woman grunted, scratching her knee. "The path you are walking on isn't easy."

Lucy felt sadness engulf her and she nodded, patting the woman on her shoulder and giving her a cinnamon bun. "I know," she whispered.

"You can have my four-wheeler."

She withdrew her arm, surprised. "P-Pardon?" Receiving no response, she could only gape at the old lady. "A-Are you sure, ma'am? I mean… I could pay for it, if you want."

"Nonsense," the woman barked, rolling her eyes. "That was my son's, when he was still alive. The thing only troubles me so you should have it."

Lucy's eyes softened and she smiled, close to tears. "Thank you…"

"Sophie."

She nodded. "Thank you, Sophie-san. I'm Lucy."

"You should visit me when your journey ends," Sophie suggested, grunting as she tried to stand. "Now, I have some place I have to go. Good luck, Lucy. I hope you remain safe."

"I will, Sophie-san. And thank you."

旅

Midi was a small country, located on a peninsula south of Minstrel. She was told that there was a dark guild here that had been trying to contact Zeref for months and nearly succeeded. She wanted to see if it was the real thing or they were just dupes.

Lucy munched on a sandwich as she walked in the streets. The country was poor, but the people didn't seem to care about that fact. There were children running on the sidewalks and the elderly were being escorted across the street. She could say she liked it better here than the last town that she went to. Everyone was just so rude there.

Sighing, she kicked a stone off the road.

"Where are you, Zeref?" she muttered, more to herself than anyone else.

Bosco was so long ago—a month, perhaps? Or maybe even more. She wasn't doing a very good job at keeping track of time, because it made her homesick. But she knew that it was ages ago. It was a horrible country, slave trade still a trend and dark guilds everywhere. Zeref could no longer be found there when she arrived, and she was directed to the mountains of Bosco, where the ruins of an ancient dark guild remained. She had sensed a lot of dark magic. If Zeref _was_ there, he didn't make his presence known.

A traveler told her back in Oshibana that he could perhaps be in Tenrou Island. Thinking about it, maybe she should have checked out the island first before heading east. Too late now though. She was too far away from Fiore to turn back. She could only hope that Zeref wasn't there.

Moreover, Lucy was mildly shocked that some of the people she asked weren't surprised that she was searching for the dark mage. Some did shame her, calling her a disgrace to mages and telling her that it was a waste of time. Whereas there were others who merely gave her the knowledge that they had and didn't ask questions.

She decided that she liked those kinds of people.

Arriving at her destination, Lucy eyed the towering building of The Novae. It looked active, and she could hear boisterous laughter inside. But judging from the area and the amount of dark energy present, she could only close her eyes and walk away.

Another dupe, another long journey back to Stella. She could go through Desierto to get to Bellum, but the SE Plug wouldn't really work well there. She would have to drive back up north and then head east.

Lucy bit the inside of her cheek and pushed a hand through her hair. It was going to be a long ride to reach Minstrel, so she should probably get some rest tonight and leave at the break of dawn.

Yeah, she should do just that.

旅

"Zeref? No, he hasn't been here since what, a hundred years ago?" the man said thoughtfully before bursting into laughter. "Don't play around, kid. Zeref isn't a joke."

Lucy narrowed her eyes, hand unconsciously moving to grip her whip. "I know that."

"Good, then don't involve yourself with the guy. I bet you wouldn't even last a second in his presence," the man snorted, waving her away with his hand.

"If I defeat you in a battle, will you tell me then?"

The man paused halfway into drinking, holding the bottle as he raised a brow at her. "Huh? Are you challenging me to a duel?" he said slowly, his face showing mocking disbelief.

"I see you're deaf," she said calmly. "Yes, I'm challenging you to a duel."

"You little bitch!" The man wiped his mouth with the back of his head and smirked. "You must be out of your mind, taking me on. I'm the second best in my guild, y'know."

Lucy tied her hair into a pony tail and readied herself, sliding into a stance. "As long as you aren't the best," she mused, smiling when he turned to her, eyes flashing with rage.

"You'll regret saying that!"

A blast of wind pushed her bangs back and she blinked, surprised. "Wah, that's cold," she stammered, glad that she chose to wear pants today. She grabbed her whip and slapped it against the floor. "Let's see if you can dance."

She decided to strike his leg first, and he jumped away to dodge. Just what she wanted. She flicked her wrist and the whip wrapped around his arm. Bracing herself, she spun her arm around and threw him towards a building. He landed with a heavy groan and she stumbled back, wiping away the sudden sweat that formed on her forehead.

"You're heavy," she commented, gritting her teeth.

"Air strike!"

"Oops!" Lucy yelped, jumping out of the way. The surge of wind left a cut on the floor and she swallowed nervously—she had to make sure none of his attacks hit her.

"You'll pay for that!" he snarled, cracking his knuckles as he started to send a wild barrage of punches. She blocked each and every one with her forearms, wincing at the pain. She wasn't good with hand-to-hand combat.

She gripped one of his arms with both of her hands and sent a kick to his abdomen. "Lucy kick!"

The man grunted, eyes bulging as he coughed violently. Lucy jumped a few feet back. She couldn't afford to waste any of her energy on this man. She had to end this duel now.

"Gate of the Maiden, I open thee!" she hurriedly commanded, raising the gold key and ramming it down. "Virgo!"

A flash of light engulfed them and Virgo appeared, pink hair flapping in the wind and her hand over her chest. She bowed to Lucy. "Princess, should I be punished?"

"No, no," Lucy panted, pointing at the man who was now walking towards her. "Defeat him for me, please."

"Will do."

Sitting on the curb with the defeated man by her feet, Lucy huffed and dismissed Virgo. She was extremely lucky to have gotten her from that guy—who was it again? Ah, Everlue. She shuddered at the thought of him. How lucky was she to have stumbled upon another key while she was traveling? A bit, apparently.

She poked the guy with her foot. "You owe me answers, old man."

"Shut up," he grunted. "I'm not old."

"Sure."

He sighed and tried to adjust himself into a sitting position, wincing all the way. He was in bad shape and Lucy promised to pay for his hospital bill if he gave her directions to Zeref.

"Look, I don't know why you're looking for that guy, but I'm telling you, he's bad news," he said, taking a cigarette out from his pocket and lighting it. He blew out a cloud of smoke and stared out into the distance.

Lucy groaned in frustration. "Tell me something I don't already know."

"Are you sure you want to find him?" he asked, frowning.

"Why do you suddenly care?" she retorted, jumping to her feet. She was panicking. "I need to find Zeref to save my mother, alright? If you don't know where he is then you've wasted my time."

She turned around, ready to walk away when he suddenly called her. "Wait, I do have some information about him."

She looked over her shoulder and stared at him, bleakness pooling in her eyes. "What?"

"You won't find him in this country, that's for sure," the man said, shaking his head. "But try Sin, I heard it's a free country. Anyone can enter and exit as they please, dark mage or not. If there's one place he might be at, that's my guess. But if not, take a boat and go to Enca."

"Are you sure about that?"

He rolled his eyes, puffing out another cloud of smoke. "No one _really_ knows where Zeref is, kid," he stated as a matter of fact. "But from what I've heard, he doesn't really stay close to where civilization is. So try looking for him in forests and mountains. Pass by the Pergrande Kingdom first, because a lot of people there might know where he is."

"But… that's a hard country to enter."

The man looked at her in incredulity. "And you're looking for Zeref! I wonder which of the two is harder, hmm?"

Lucy glared at him. "Fine, I'll enter Pergrande. I'll even drop by the King and say hi," she muttered, taking out her map and grimacing. It was going to take forever to get there.

"Don't be stupid, kid." The man snuffed out his cigarette on the road and crossed his legs. "You'll never find him."

"Oh really?" she mumbled, staring at the sky with a determined glint in her eyes. "Try me."

望

Lucy watched the sunset with a disinterested look. She had seen the same scene for months now, and it was a bit tiring, watching it alone. Her travels were lengthy and she repeated her clothes every day, stopping occasionally at inns to sleep in. But she was getting there—Bellum turned out to be worth the visit. And that man was nicer than she thought.

Pergrande Kingdom was the biggest country in Ishgar. She didn't know much about it. She did know that it was a rich kingdom, full of wealth and good people. It was also known as the trading capital of the continent.

She could feel her magic draining and she took out a vial of pills. She popped one in her mouth, her magic slowly returning.

Rubbing her eyes, she tried to concentrate on sending a steady stream of magic into the SE Plug. It was tiring but it was proving to be a better choice than traveling by train all the time. She had plenty of money and she was even ahead of schedule.

Ever since she began this journey, she hadn't made any friends, apart from Sophie and a cat that stayed with her in Stella. She was only fifteen, but she felt older somehow. Like maybe, she was wasting away her life, all for a chance to meet Zeref.

She hoped he would show up. Because if he didn't, she might lose her way back home.

望

"Why are you looking for him, child?"

Lucy looked up at the King of Pergrande, and for a moment, she forgot why. Why was she looking for Zeref?

"I…" she trailed off, lowering her head. "My mother's sick. They said he's the only one who can lift the curse that was placed on her."

"Dear, you may be walking into something you cannot walk out from," the Queen said worriedly, her light pink braids tumbling over her shoulders as she fell back to her seat. She seemed exhausted.

"I know that," Lucy clarified, clenching her fists. "I know that. But being scared won't help me, so I beg you, if you don't know where he is or if you can't help me, just say so. I don't have much time left."

The two rulers looked at each other, discussing something through soft voices before directing their attention back to her. The King cleared his throat. "We _do_ know where he might be."

Lucy's eyes widened, her heart almost stopping. "W-What? But I thought… I thought no one knows where he actually is?"

"No one does," the Queen affirmed, nodding. "However, he has been trying very hard to do something lately, so his presence is stronger than ever. He was last felt at Enca, but if you travel a bit further than that, there's a little island where he might be residing for the time being."

"A-And you're sure of this?"

The Queen smiled sadly. "As sure as we could ever be, dear. Zeref is a terrifyingly dangerous mage. If you aren't too careful, you may never be able to tell him what you ask of him."

Lucy couldn't believe it. A solid trail, and it was just so close! She was mentally thanking every man that she had passed on the way here.

She gave the two rulers a deep bow. "Thank you very much! You don't know how grateful I am. Do you need anything? Money? Or…"

"No, no!" the King rushed, waving his hands frantically in the air. "We aren't like that!"

"He's right." The Queen sighed, her forehead creasing in worry. "Your safe return is all that we ask from you, Lucy-san."

望

They were right, Enca was brimming with dark magic. She could feel it wherever she went. Though, they were also correct about Zeref no longer staying here. Although the area was packed with all sorts of mages, dark and light all alike, she couldn't feel him yet. She was certain she would know if he was nearby.

Because she knew that he wasn't in Enca anymore, she immediately rented a boat to the next island. It was small, and strangely enough, no one wanted to escort her there. Instead they taught her how to work the boat and left her to herself. Thankfully, it was powered by an SE Plug.

The ocean was quiet and there was only an occasional gust of wind that greeted her. The next island, which she decided she would call as Lucia (since it may as well be her last chance), looked dark from the distance. Gray clouds hovered above the trees and the forest looked ominous from her viewpoint.

Still, she didn't feel any fright. She was only feeling excited that he may actually be there. That finally, her journey was going to end.

Docking the boat, she stepped onto the sand and stood in front of the looming trees. She swallowed hard.

"Here goes nothing."

Walking into the dark abyss, she held a small lacrima to illuminate the path. There weren't any animals, so far. Actually, there wasn't any sign of life at all. Now that she got a better look at her surroundings, the plants were wilted and everything was dead. The island smelled of rotting flesh and death.

She covered her nose with an arm and ventured deeper into the island.

"Zeref!" she called out, trying her best not to muffle her voice. "I know you're there!"

Silence.

Lucy mentally reached out to her keys for reassurance and they glowed for only a moment before the light dimmed. She sucked in a deep breath. "Zeref! Please, I need your help!"

There was a rustling to her right and she stepped back, startled.

"H-Hello?"

Once again, a deafening silence answered her.

She was only fifteen, she reminded herself. She was only fifteen, but she was braver than most of the people that she knew. This was nothing.

"Zeref?" she called out, her knees beginning to tremble from fear. The presence of dark magic here was absurd. It was almost suffocating, how thick it was. She was getting cold feet.

"I'm not here to kill you or anything like that," she said carefully, close to tears. She was so close. He had to be here. He should be.

"I just need your help," she begged, blinking away the water in her eyes. They slipped down her cheeks and she hiccupped, suddenly feeling very small. Suddenly feeling like she was truly fifteen, young and alone.

"Please…"

There was another rustling from in front of her and she looked up, sniffing. She was crying so hard she had to catch her breath.

"W-Who's there?" she questioned in a wavering voice, her tears slurring her words.

A person stepped out of the shadows and suddenly the island was no longer dark. The clouds parted and filled the area with light, illuminating the mage that stood before her. He looked as young as she was, with midnight hair and sad eyes that she couldn't look away from.

"You were calling?"

Lucy's eyes widened and she stumbled backwards, blood pounding in her ears.

"Z-Zeref?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: currently transferring works from FFN to ao3 :)
> 
> There are two kanjis in this first part, if you didn't notice.
> 
> 旅 - travel
> 
> 望 - hope


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "All great and precious things are lonely." — John Steinbeck

He smiled. "That's right."

Lucy looked at him, her breath caught up in her throat. It wasn't easy getting here, she knew that. But this moment—this reality, it felt very much surreal. Like perhaps, it was all just a dream.

"Y-You… You're actually here," she breathed, disbelieving. "Just like they said you would be."

Zeref furrowed his eyebrows and took a step back, bringing a hand to his head as he massaged his temples. "You were just lucky. I don't usually help mortals, much less young girls like you."

"W-Why did you show up then?"

He paused, eyes lowering. "I don't know."

Lucy stared at him and noticed, for the first time, that although he was known as the darkest mage in all of Ishgar, he didn't look that evil. He looked like a young boy, lost and alone—just like her. But first impressions weren't accurate all the time anyway.

She hid her hands behind her back, hoping he wouldn't notice that she was trembling. "M-My mother…"

"What about her?"

"A curse was placed on her," she replied, biting her lip. Her nerves were killing her but he merely nodded, urging her to continue. "I—only _you_ can lift it."

Zeref seemed to think about this, but it was more like he dropped his head and closed his eyes. She couldn't tell if he was actually laughing at her or if he was even considering her pleas. And yet, she hoped with _all_ her might that he did. She prayed to the skies that they grant her wish, even if it could may as well be her last one.

He lifted his head and looked at her. "You're from…?"

"F-Fiore."

Stunned, he held her gaze for a long time. "That's at the opposite end of this continent, you know."

Lucy flushed. "Yes, I know." She _did_ know. Home was beyond her grasp, barely even touching the tips of her fingertips. It had been months since she left—five? Six? She wasn't entirely certain, but she knew it could be longer than that, not less. "Please, I only have so little time left. Lift the curse that was placed on my mother, I beg you!"

He pressed his lips into a thin line. "I will help you."

She froze. "Y-You will?"

"But on one condition."

Lucy's heart dropped in a second. She was frightened. She knew though that whatever he threw at her, she would gladly accept. If it meant healing her mother, then she was going to do whatever he wanted her to do.

She gave him a nod. "What—sure, o-okay."

Suddenly he was directly in front of her, their faces inches apart as his eyes stared deep into her soul. His smile was cruel. "You will accompany me. Be my companion for the rest of your life or else your mother dies."

She didn't let even a heartbeat pass.

"I accept."

約

Lucy watched from a distance as Zeref made his presence known to the Heartfilia Konzern. The mansion was in a frenzy, barricading windows, locking doors, closing all the lights—they were making him a significant guest even though most would have attacked him on sight.

She smiled sadly, looking on as her mother and father bowed deeply to the greatest mage of all time. She missed home. This was where she was meant to be and here she was, her journey at an end. And yet, she couldn't even let them know that she was alive, that she was here. She couldn't even tell them about her travels or how she wished she could visit them for at least once a year.

"Where is my daughter?" she heard Layla ask, her voice weak and shaky. "W-Where's Lucy?"

Zeref remained stoic. "The girl is dead. It is a curse that I also have—any living being that approaches me or is around me dies when my magic goes rampant."

There was a silence that seemed louder than anything she had ever heard of.

"You are fortunate to have her. If she hadn't begged me to save your life, I would have turned her down, regardless of whether or not she would die."

Lucy closed her eyes, shielding herself of the view of her parents breaking down. It was one of their deals—no one from the Heartfilias could know that she was still alive. Because whether it was her decision or not, they were going to go after her. One way or another, they would want to have her back.

She supposed she saw the logic in that. She didn't want her parents to think that she left them on purpose too, so this was better. She didn't really have much of a choice.

It was only a few minutes later when Layla was cured. Zeref didn't take too long. The removal of the curse was hasty and simple for a dark mage like him. Within moments, her mother was already walking, her skin healthy as though she was never ill. The bruises on her skin were gone, leaving no scars behind. Even her father couldn't believe it and already had his wife in his arms, embracing her with so much love that Lucy didn't feel any regret at all.

Although she would no longer be in the picture, she wished for them eternal happiness.

As soon as the ritual was finished, the household began to offer him gifts as thanks. Zeref took that as his cue to leave and vanished in a haze of dark wisps. He reappeared beside her, patting his robes down before meeting her eyes. It was only for a brief second before he decided to look away, and she took this chance.

"Can we…" she paused, swallowing. "C-Can I at least stay for my funeral?"

"Okay."

She smiled tearfully. "Thank you."

The wake lasted for about three days. Cousins and distant relatives visited her, crying over how she had so much left to do and yet she died at such a young age. She found it ironic how she knew none of them but they still lamented for her, as if they had the tightest bond that no one could break. Perhaps there were some who wished they had at least tried to talk to her. Somehow, it made her regret that she was never that close with her cousins. Nevertheless, it was saving them the grief, not knowing her much.

No one questioned why the casket was empty. No one even mentioned the fact that her mother was fine, like a miracle had occurred. Just a few months ago she was a ticking time bomb and was bedridden. Seeing her walk around the mansion like she was never sick to begin with raised suspicions, but no one dared to ask due to the sullen atmosphere.

It was a depressing occasion. The mansion was packed with people from daylight to nighttime and the families occupied nearly all of the rooms to stay for the burial. It was odd, watching them mourn for her death. Was this really how funerals worked? It seemed fake, like maybe everyone was just pretending to be miserable. It felt peculiar, watching people pray for her when she was just there—alive and breathing. But no one could know. No one could know that Lucy Heartfilia was never really dead to begin with.

And so she was no longer a Heartfilia. Only Lucy.

On the fourth day, it rained. She didn't know if it was Zeref's doing or the heavens, but it was a heavy downpour while they gathered outside for her burial. Every person wore black clothing and it was a solemn ceremony, something she did not want. Truthfully, she wanted an upbeat funeral. She wanted people to remember her through happy moments and smile through those times. But she was only fifteen. And fifteen years wasn't much of an experience for some, so they could only cry over her wasted years.

When the funeral was over and her relatives were beginning to leave, Lucy decided that it was time to start another journey. But where to, she didn't know. It was up to Zeref this time.

It was no longer her choice to make.

勇

The route they were taking was different from hers. It should be easier, since Zeref had the power to teleport if he wanted to, but she noticed that he avoided this and joined her in the magical vehicle. Sometimes when her magic began to dilute, he would take her place and drive the four wheeler.

"Let's stop by Tenrou Island after Crocus," he told her and she merely nodded, the conversation at an end.

Lucy leaned against the windowsill and watched another sunset. It was strange, having to watch it with someone else. She was still cautious around Zeref though and they didn't have much of a relationship—only travelers in the same vehicle. She didn't attempt to make little talk with him, afraid of how he would react. He wasn't exactly being friendly to her.

Breathing in deeply, she opted to busy herself with the map. They went west this time, going around Fiore and crossing the ocean to get to Caelum. She wasn't planning on asking him why he chose this path, but she seldom felt like she needed to.

"Do you wish to rest for the night?"

She stared at the back of his head in surprise. Blinking herself out of her stupor, she cleared her throat and said, "I d-don't mind if you wish to continue traveling, Lord Zeref."

She thought she may have heard him huff. "I thought I told you to stop calling me that."

She lowered her gaze to her lap, clenching her fists. "But…"

"Zeref is fine," he explained, sighing as he looked over his shoulder. "Get some sleep. We'll switch in a few hours."

Lucy chose to stay quiet and lied on the long bench, turning to her side. She thought it would be impossible to fall asleep with this situation. But within seconds, she was deep into slumber, the dark mage keeping a careful eye on her so she wouldn't fall.

勇

Crocus was lovely. She thought she would never be able to look around the cities and towns if she was to accompany him. He was turning out to be kinder than most people made him seem like. Smiling to herself, she took the liberty of throwing away her old clothes and bought herself a fresh set, along with a cloak. Zeref had advised her to get one if she were to travel with him.

"A magical cloak would be better," he had told her. "I can enchant it to keep you hidden when needed."

Munching on a hamburger, she reminisced about the events that unfolded this year. She thought about how in just a few months, she would be turning sixteen. Her spirits had argued with her a lot with what happened, especially Aquarius. They even refused to be summoned for some time, which complicated things when she trained. Eventually they warmed up to her once again and decided to let it be.

When they left the Heartfilia Konzern, they didn't begin their journey immediately. It took Zeref a while before he agreed that they were to start traveling. After her funeral, they spent three to four months in a cave in Mt. Hakobe. It was freezing day and night, and the Vulcans attacked nonstop.

One day, she had asked him why they were wasting time in some icy mountain.

"If you're to travel with me, you need to get used to being in danger around the clock," he had said, shaking his head before leaving her to train some more.

She did not complain afterwards, despite of the ache in her back from sleeping on the rocky ground and that she couldn't wash her clothes as often as she wanted to. When Zeref deemed her ready, they left the cave. And now here they were at Crocus, the capital of Fiore.

He wasn't really with her though. He couldn't risk being spotted in such a populated kingdom, so he chose to stay in the forests to wait for her. And she couldn't think of why he would trust her that much. She could run away any minute now and leave him (she was sure he would find her though) or she could disobey him and ignore the errands that he had given her.

Fortunately, Lucy wasn't like that and she liked to keep her word.

She was back in the forest in no time. She found Zeref reading a book inside of the four wheeler, a handful of dead flowers beside him on the floor.

Lucy looked at him before taking a seat on one of the benches. "I… uh, bought a cloak just like you advised me to," she announced, rummaging through her knapsack for the said clothing.

"Good," he commented, flipping a page. "I'll enchant it later."

She blinked and nodded, pushing her bag to the end of the bench and resting her head on it. She stretched and yawned, listening to Zeref's unconscious humming while she lifted one of his books to her face and began to read.

Halfway into a page, the book was snatched away from her hands. She jolted upright, staring at Zeref who seemed to be panicking.

"W-What's wrong? Did I do something?"

He glanced at her before saying, "No. Don't—just… read something else." He released a frustrated sigh and handed her a novel. "Here."

"O-Okay," Lucy mumbled, scratching her neck. She took the book from his hands and resumed her position, trying to ignore the fact that she had been terrified then, thinking that she had done something wrong.

Dismissing the thought, she turned to the next page and continued reading.

共

Lucy stared at the massive tree in front of them, flabbergasted and sweating from the warm weather.

"What are we doing here?" she asked, turning to Zeref who had begun to put on his black robes. She found it slightly amusing that even the strongest mage couldn't resist the heat.

"I'm just going to drop by an old friend and say hi," he answered, his tone dismissive.

Deciding that it would be best to remain quiet, Lucy followed him into the island. It was getting cooler now, a better state than when they were on the ocean with the sun nearly burning her skin off, so she chose to put on her shirt as well.

She clasped her hands behind her and yawned silently. She was tired from their trip but she didn't want him to know. Whoever this friend of his was, he or she seemed very important, for Zeref to drop by. She didn't think he was that kind of guy. Rather, she assumed he had no friends at all, no matter how unpleasant that sounded like. Hence, she didn't want to ruin his visit by declaring that she needed to nap first.

They were deep into the forest when he began to speak. "Do you know of the guild called Fairy Tail?" he inquired, genuine curiosity laced in his voice.

"Yeah." It was her dream guild. "They're the best guild in Fiore, so naturally everyone knows them. Unless they're living under a rock or something," she rambled, oblivious that Zeref had stopped to give her his full attention.

Resuming his walk, he smiled fondly at a thought that he was having. "They might be going here in two years," he replied softly, and in his eyes flashed with an emotion that no one had ever seen before. "We'll return when they come, for I have something I must do when they arrive. But for now, I suppose we can stay somewhere in the east."

Lucy, who naturally didn't have it in her to drop the conversation, decided to change the topic. "Do you ever… I don't know—do you ever think about your mortality? Or the lack thereof."

"Sometimes," he admitted, not sounding too offended or angered by her question. He slowed his pace, walking in step with her as he glanced at her. "When you're immortal, you have all the time to think about many things. Mostly they come after the curse has been activated and everything around me has died. I think about what I could have been if I weren't _me_. I think about all the people that I met in four hundred years and how they all come and go."

Speechless, Lucy could only stare at the dark mage. He was staring longingly straight ahead, his face holding a hint of sadness. "It didn't take a hundred years to realize that this was truly a curse, or even a few months. It took only a day. When I entered a room and everyone had died, that's when it hit me—that I'll never be normal again, that this curse would be stuck with me forever."

"And… you don't mind telling me this?" she whispered, stunned that he would open up his heart to her. A stranger.

He shrugged. "You're going to spend your whole life with me. Might as well, don't you think?"

"I suppose…" she muttered in confusion. Did it really work that way? She wasn't sure. "I guess we shouldn't be strangers for 70 years or so."

He hummed in agreement and they sunk into silence. However, within minutes they slowed into a stop, standing in front of a grave. Zeref smiled fondly and sat in front of it, touching the headstone and patting away the dust that had gathered.

Lucy flushed and pressed her lips together. "I, uh, I think I'll go explore a bit more," she stuttered nervously. When he said nothing, she began to walk away. She felt like she was disturbing something important with how he looked at the grave. It wasn't her intention to intrude on a special visit like that.

She didn't really go that far though, only a hundred steps away or so. She only made sure that she couldn't understand whatever he was saying, reading the book he lent her while he talked to his old friend. The forest here seemed livable and she already knew that they would be staying for a while. Perhaps until he felt like leaving.

It was nightfall by the time he was finished. Lucy had just woken up from a nap when she heard him approach, his face passive and lacking of emotions that he had earlier.

She frowned and opened her mouth—closed it instead. She couldn't bring herself to ask him if he was fine.

"Let's go," he mumbled low under his breath. Whether she like it or not, she had to get back on the road again. Or the ocean, rather.

Halfway through packing her things, he spoke again. "No," he said loudly, almost shouting, and she stopped, blinking. "I meant let's set camp somewhere else. Not here."

Oh.

Embarrassed, she ducked her head and gripped the straps of her backpack. They decided to stay the farthest possible place from the grave. He didn't tell her why nor did she ask, but she could tell that something had happened that made his mood turn sour.

"Is everything—"

"Sleep," he cut her off, his head turned away from her as he leaned against a tree trunk. "You haven't had much of it."

Mouth upturned, Lucy decided to drop the topic and turned to her side, the flickering of the flame behind her the only sound that could be heard. She closed her eyes with a sigh.

"Goodnight, Zeref," she resolved to say, after a month's worth of debates.

There was a deafening silence and he didn't answer. But when his fingers touched the crown of her head and he began to run them through her hair, she decided that she didn't particularly mind.

共

"Lucy," Zeref called, head in his hands. "Stay back."

She looked at him, lips pressed into a firm white line and nodded, stepping a certain distance away from the mage. In an instant the plants around him withered and the ground thundered with the force of magic. When the effects of the curse faded and Lucy could finally approach him, he raised his hand to stop her.

"Find yourself food to eat," he rasped weakly. "This may take a while."

Pained, Lucy could only obey. She left him to himself, sobbing against the withered trees and questioning the life that he had. The urge to kill himself was growing stronger every time the curse activated, and yet he couldn't do it. He didn't have the strength to.

In spite of this, it wasn't his immortality that prevented him from suicide—it was an entirely different thing, one that he wished would remain the depths of his mind. It was something that he didn't know how to deal with.

Lucy returned with a handful of berries after some time. She ignored the chaos around him, moving past the still bodies of animals and the crushed flowers. Sitting beside the mage, she popped a berry in her mouth and offered him some.

"I don't want any," he grated tiredly.

"Eat," she told him, separating an equal amount of berries for the both of them. "Maybe it'll make you feel better."

His eyes narrowed, snapping towards her dangerously. " _Nothing_ will make me feel better."

"Really?"

Their eyes met each other and Zeref didn't look away. "They told me that nothing would be able to cure my mother but you did," she pointed out, their faces so close she was finding it difficult to focus. "Nothing is impossible, you know."

"I've discovered that there is."

Lucy smiled crookedly. "You don't know that yet."

He directed his gaze to the ground, a hand tangled in his hair. "I have always wondered," he paused, swallowing. "What made you do it?"

Movements stopping, she chewed slowly and gulped down the food. "What made me do what?" she repeated, handing him his share while she finished hers.

"What made you look for me?"

Heart slowing into a soft thumping, Lucy found herself unable to look when he focused his attention towards her. "Well, to put it simply, I just loved my mother too much," she answered, smiling sheepishly. Her eyes fogged up with emotions and she blinked them away. "I had always wanted to leave home, but never like that. I wanted to be a member of some guild and travel the continent. And then things happened and I had to save my mother first before caring for myself.

"But it's okay. I may not be in a guild, but I'm traveling right now and I get to train. By the way, I never got to thank you for saving her." Her eyelids fluttered close. "Thank you. You don't know how grateful I am that you agreed to heal her. You don't know how _long_ it took to find you. At some point, I thought it was bordering impossible, too," she confessed, laughing softly.

"But you found me," he breathed, eyes never leaving her face. "You found me."

Finally gathering her courage, she lifted her head to return his gaze and smiled. "I did."

共

After nearly two years of traveling with Zeref, Lucy had discovered several things. Mostly why he was evil and why he created his demons. She couldn't say for sure that she fully understood him, though a part of her did. She didn't think he was right with whatever he was doing, nor did she think he was wrong. She merely supported his decisions as his companion and turned a blind eye to his plans.

Thankfully, her parents were doing fine. Zeref had allowed her to visit secretly one day and they now had a son. They named him Lucas in tribute to her. He had the same blond hair and warm brown eyes—just like her. She wished she could go back and take care of him but she knew it was hopeless. In addition to that, she had already given up on returning. She was happy with where she was now, despite the odds.

Her grave, surprisingly, was never vacant. There were always flowers and she caught her father reading her favorite storybook to her at night. They kept her bedroom clean, her personal belongings still present and the walls filled with photographs.

She truly was deceased and it felt strange, seeing her grave once again after the funeral and realizing that people still loved her even though she was gone. That made her smile.

She and Zeref chose to stay in the mountains in Pergrande. They resided beside a lake where they bathed in turns, close to the city so they could easily buy anything they might need. Though Lucy did most of the shopping and left him to himself. He would disappear sometimes, she didn't know where to, but he would return after a few days. Sometimes late in the night. And when he did, he would ruffle her hair. It was a greeting that she had grown to love.

Lucy didn't know what they were. Friends, perhaps. Companions, that was for sure. And yet there was something. She couldn't name it exactly, but she could feel it—a fluttering inside her stomach whenever he smiled at her. It was unusual.

"Our return to Tenrou is in a month," Zeref reminded her, folding his legs as he studied the maps and scrolls laid out in front of him. "Grimoire Heart should be there a few days after our arrival."

"Really?" she questioned, raising a brow. "I thought they stayed out of the other guilds' way."

He nodded. "Yes, but not this time. They seem to be trying to contact me, which I think is a bit ridiculous."

Laughing, Lucy shook her head and handed him a bowl of stew. "And you're going to entertain them?"

"Might as well," he replied, pinching the bridge of his nose. "They could ruin my plan."

"Of meeting Natsu?"

"Yes."

Lucy failed to tell him that she had met the guy before but decided long ago that it would be best not to let him know. Clearing her throat, she said, "I don't think it's a good idea for me to join you this time."

"Nonsense." Zeref handed her back his bowl, already finished. "You need to be there if something happens to me."

She rolled her eyes. "You're immortal. You'll be fine."

He sighed, watching her helplessly as she stood up to clear their makeshift table (which was just a huge slab of stone on top of four corner rocks) and fiddled with the maps. He grabbed her wrist before she could bypass him. "You're going with me to Tenrou," he commanded, frowning.

Lucy cocked her head to the side, thrown off-guard. After a few seconds of staring at each other, she leaned closer and patted his head. "Don't be mean! I was going to go anyway," she reassured, shaking away his grip. He let go immediately.

"Okay," he concluded, putting away his scrolls and folding his arms on the table. He placed his chin on top and listened to the rustling of the leaves, feeling at peace.

"Hey, Lucy."

She looked over her shoulder. "Yeah?"

He weighed his options in his mind, debating whether or not he should ask her. In the end, he could only suck in a deep breath.

"Nothing," he replied, ignoring the way her stare was digging into his side.

共

Lucy pulled the hood of her cloak further over her face, hopefully hiding her identity from the masses. The market was bustling with people, the merchants beckoning her over to look at their goods and the vendors offering her free tastes. Pergrande didn't fail at being the trading capital of Ishgar. It was indeed a hustle and bustle every day to get first-class products. So it was only reasonable for her to hate errand day, when all of their food had run out and she was tasked to do Zeref's orders.

Sporting a barely contained grimace, she weaved through the crowd of buyers and sellers. Today she was tasked to do three things: One, restock their food supply; two, buy Zeref white cloth for his robes (since apparently his was a hundred years too old); and three, find herself a new key ring. Her collection was growing, mostly with silver keys, but they couldn't fit the old one anymore.

She was looking through a handful of rings when she heard the screams.

Alarmed, she picked the biggest one out of the selection and gave the woman a large amount of jewels. "Sorry! I have to go!" she shrieked, immediately running through the alleyways to avoid the mayhem.

She heard the explosion of magic and cursed. Zeref was right. She was going to be attacked, though by who, he didn't specify. He only told her to get them off her trail and return to him. Then they would be on their way. He also made her promise not to attack them, for they could place a mark on her to track them down and they didn't want that. Run. Distract. Run. Go to Zeref. Leave.

Easy—she could do that.

Lucy nibbled on her bottom lip timidly and kept her eyes straight ahead. If she turned right, she could run straight for the forest, make a turn to get to Zeref, and then they could drive straight out of here. It wasn't the best plan but it was all her told her to do anyway—run.

Just as she was nearing the end of the alley, it was blocked by two men whose faces were hidden behind masks. She skidded into a stop, hissing.

"Get out of my way," she snapped angrily, hand gripping onto her Fleuve d'étoiles. "Or else."

One of them scoffed. "You can't scare us, girl."

The other nodded in agreement, stepping closer to her. "Now lead us to Zeref!"

Eyes narrowing, she uncoiled her whip and snapped it against the floor, making them jump back. She took this opportunity and grabbed one of her keys, raising it above her head. "Gate of the Lyre, I open thee!" She slammed her hand down. "Lyra!"

The spirit appeared in a puff of white and bowed to Lucy, smiling. "What can I do for you today?"

"Put them to sleep," she ordered.

Lyra winked. "Got'cha!"

As the spirit began to sing a lullaby and the two men were beginning to get groggy, Lucy took out her communications lacrima. She tried contacting Zeref but he wouldn't answer. She groaned—he had to give her such a hard time.

With her enemies finally sleeping on the floor, she dismissed Lyra and continued running to the forest. She whispered a spell beneath her breath and enchanted her cloak. Even with the invisibility spell activated earlier, they still saw her. Hopefully now they wouldn't be able to even smell her.

She found Zeref passed out on the grass, breathing heavily.

"Zeref!" she shouted, hurrying to his side. She lifted his head and rested it on her lap, tapping his cheek repeatedly. "Come on, wake up! We have to leave," she whispered restlessly.

When she got no response, her heartbeat picked up. She knew worrying was useless—he was immortal. He wasn't going to die anytime soon, so why was her blood pounding so fast? Was it the adrenaline? The exhaustion? Or was it something else?

But a moment later, he was coughing. "Lucy… my cloak. Get—get my cloak."

"Alright. Okay," she said with a nod. She fetched for the said article of clothing in the magical vehicle and helped him put it on. "Do you need anything? Why are you so weak?"

"The curse."

Lucy flinched, finally understanding the situation. Usually whenever his black magic activated, he felt rubbish. He wouldn't be able to function until he was at peace with himself. He would have awful migraines that would only leave if she made Lyra sing a song to put him to sleep, but she couldn't do that now. She had just summoned the spirit and she was unavailable until next week. Cursing, she ran her fingers through her hair.

"Zeref, we have to go," she reminded him weakly, eyes saddening at the sight of him whimpering.

"Okay," he breathed, panting. "Okay—I'll teleport us to Tenrou Island."

She nodded. "And our things?"

"We'll just have to leave them behind," he croaked, leaning against her. "Ready?"

"Of course."

"Okay," Zeref whispered, stretching his hand out. He recited a spell under his breath and together they vanished, leaving behind only a trail of black smoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are three kanjis for this part this time.
> 
> 約 - promise  
> 勇 - brave  
> 共 - together


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When is a monster not a monster?  
> Oh, when you love it.  
> — Caitlyn Siehl, Literary Sexts: A Collection of Short & Sexy Love Poems

Lucy admired the night sky pensively, the color of raven and splattered with sparkling silver. The weather was neither warm nor cold, but something in the middle. The air wasn't too strong but it wasn't that weak either. It was a quiet evening. Although to some it could be their last and to others their first, to them it was their peace.

The sensation of his ebony hair slipping between her fingers was _her_ peace. Along with his head on her lap, the strongest mage in the world sound asleep right in front of her. It was a sight to behold, really. But to her it was now always like this. During restless nights and stopovers, he would take naps. Sometimes they would last forever. Sometimes only a few minutes. But either way, it was relaxing, watching him in this serene moment. It was almost hypnotic.

Tenrou Island was tranquil for the first time since they returned, perhaps preparing for the chaos that would ensue for the following days. She was thankful though. Zeref was incredibly drained from talking to his comrades in the other continent and his curse. It was taking a toll on him.

While Zeref was stirring awake, Lucy waited for their eyes to meet. And when they did, they both smiled. "Hey," she whispered, brushing away his bangs from his face. "Had a nice nap?"

"I did," he reassured, staring past her and at the stars.

"Are you excited to meet your brother again?" Lucy questioned gently. She didn't know if it was fine to remind him but she wanted to know. Because if he wasn't ready yet then she would pull him away, right now, at this very moment, and they would resume traveling places they had already visited before.

Zeref sighed sadly. "I think so," he mumbled back, his eyes shining with the reflection of the midnight sky. "I've waited 400 years to meet him again and I can't turn back now."

Puzzled, she asked, "Why?"

"I…" he trailed off, anxious. He couldn't tell her. Not now, when the moment was too perfect for him to ruin. "I can't say yet."

Smiling sadly, she could only nod. She respected whatever secrets he had, as long as they weren't too big. Maybe he wanted Natsu to join them and he didn't want her to be uncomfortable. But truthfully, she was fine with that. She wanted him to be happy after all.

Zeref closed his eyes and turned to his side, whispering an inaudible apology for Lucy. He had never felt this hesitant to tell her that he still wanted to die. It wasn't an easy topic to suddenly mention, but it was important. She _needed_ to know. And yet he couldn't—he didn't want to break her heart.

He loved her too much to do that.

安

The ground thundered with the events of the S-Class Trial. Together they waited for Natsu to stumble upon them, several feet away from each other. The area around Zeref was dark—withered and void of life. While Lucy sat beneath the brightest tree, shadowing herself from the searing heat of the blazing sun. Even without him saying it, she knew he wanted her close to him where he could easily grab onto her and teleport them if things went out of hand.

Listening to the fiery cries of the members of Fairy Tail, she found herself imagining what it would be like if she was with them instead of Zeref. Lucy didn't regret staying with him—she was fond of him in more ways than one, although she would never tell him, but she could tell that the guild had an unbreakable bond. Anyone would be able to tell as much.

"Lucy."

"Yeah?" she replied, glancing at him from the corner of her eye.

"If ever we get separated… and you're in danger," Zeref started, not breaking eye-contact. "I know you're strong and I trust you, but if you can't move anymore, just say my name and I'll get you out of there. Okay?"

Lucy pressed her lips together and nodded. "Yeah, okay." Unconsciously, her hand reached up to touch the mark on the back of her neck. It was Zeref's. She asked him to give her one so he would always be able to find her. On some days, it felt intimate, like perhaps this was a mark that one would only give to his lover. And to be honest, that didn't sound so bad. To be _his_ , she didn't mind that at all.

She shook her head and cleared her thoughts, swallowing nervously. She couldn't be his. It was impossible—her life was merely a second compared to his endless one. And why would he want to be hers? They weren't anything special. They were only together due to circumstances.

Yeah. What was she even thinking?

Amidst her thoughts, a loud crash resounded and their heads snapped towards the direction. Someone had fallen off the path. After some time, all they could hear was loud bickering.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing? That thing from before was a tactic to throw Mira off her guard! An act! I sure hope you didn't start thinking that I had a thing for you!"

"…Not even for a second. But I am thankful. That was one excellent underhanded plan you thought up."

"Don't call it underhanded."

Raising an eyebrow, Lucy nudged her head towards the sound of the voices, gesturing Zeref to move. He sighed, pushing himself to stand. He wanted it to seem like he was surprised to see anyone on the island so he walked into the scene of two Fairy Tail mages sitting in front of each other.

He blinked in confusion. "People? On this island, people?" He felt Lucy approach him. "And I'd thought there wouldn't be anyone at this place."

The man with white hair got into a stance, eyes narrowing angrily. "Who the hell are you?"

"Only the members of our guild can enter here!" the woman added, glaring at Lucy and Zeref.

"We… didn't know," Lucy lied smoothly, hand falling on his shoulder. She didn't know how long they were supposed to keep this ruse up and when Natsu would come, so she had no choice but to back him up. "I didn't think this island would be run by a guild."

The man growled. "Hey, you!" he snapped, moving forward when Zeref suddenly clutched his head in agony.

"Lucy," he rasped in pain. "Stay back!"

Eyes widening, she turned to the two mages in front of them and realized that she couldn't save them. Gritting her teeth, she could only scream, "Both of you, get away from him!"

Frozen stiff, they all watched as a black miasma surrounded the dark mage. It quickly grew—bigger and bigger, crushing the leaves that were falling around him and reaching further towards the Fairy Tail mages.

Lucy closed her eyes in fear, not wanting to see them die.

"Get down!"

Startled, she looked up and saw a familiar pink-haired boy jump down from the path to push his two friends to the ground. The curse went past them and Lucy had to turn back around to hide from it, pulling the hood of her cloak tighter over her face. When the magic deactivated, she jumped out of her hiding spot and stood beside Zeref. Her knees trembled as she held onto his robes.

"Natsu…" he whispered, tears falling down his cheeks.

The said boy glared at him, growling. "Who are you?!"

"Natsu, why are you here?" the woman asked him, and it was immediately followed by the white-haired man who he then called Elfman and Evergreen. Soon enough Lucy saw Happy flying towards them.

"Weren't we going to the top?!"

"I don't really know what's going on, but I've got a creepy feeling…" Natsu muttered, taking a good look at their surroundings and then at Zeref. It looked like a wasteland.

Happy frowned. "His magic did this?"

Evergreen nodded, gulping anxiously. "He doesn't seem to be your run-of-the-mill mage."

Natsu clenched his fists, knuckles turning white and sweat dripping from his temples. "I don't know who you are, but this is our guild's island! Don't get in the way of our exam!"

"You've…" Zeref paused, eyes softening at the sight of his brother. "Really grown. I've been wanting to see you, Natsu."

The dragon slayer's eyes widened and suddenly he was charging at Zeref, fist raised and ready to deliver a blow. Lucy swore beneath her breath, jumping in front of him and raising an arm to keep the black mage behind her. She stared up at Natsu with barely contained rage. His punch landed on her forearm and she hissed, digging her heels into the ground so she wouldn't be pushed back.

"And who the hell are you?!" he roared, ducking his head to look at her face. She used her other hand and pushed her hood back. He saw chocolate-colored eyes staring back at him with fury and determination.

Natsu toppled backwards in shock. "Y-You're that girl from back then!"

"Lucy, not Luigi," she said dryly. "I see you haven't changed at all."

"It's that blondie!" Happy exclaimed from behind him, flying around in circles.

Natsu shook his head. "How did you get here? And who's that guy?" he questioned, pointing at the man she was clearly trying to protect.

Lucy glared at him as she spat, "This _guy_ is your—"

"Don't," Zeref cut off, reaching out to ruffle her head. In an instant her mind cleared and she relaxed under his touch. "It seems he's… not ready yet."

The dragon slayer scowled in return. "Ready for what?"

However, before Zeref could answer, he whimpered in pain, head dropping to his hands. Lucy turned around in alarm. "Oh no," she whispered, glancing at their surroundings. "The curse is activating again. Stand back!"

"What?!" the Fairy Tail mages cried, clearly not expecting this. Elfman and Evergreen were the first to run while Natsu and Happy remained, staring at the crumpling dark mage before them.

Lucy looked back and forth at the two mages and her companion. She fisted her hands and glared at Natsu. "What are you still doing here? Run!"

"Why should I?"

But instead of her, it was Zeref who yelled. "Run, Lucy!"

She stiffened and was ready to turn around when his hand touched her back. She screamed his name, his pained face the last thing she saw before she was teleported away.

迷

Badly injured and almost out of magic, Lucy limped her way deeper into the forest. She was bleeding from a gash on her thigh, soaking wet from the heavy rainstorm, and she didn't know where Zeref was. After Grimoire Heart's arrival, she wasn't able to contact him or call for his help since she didn't want to burden him with her troubles. But now that the battles had escalated and she was in need of treatment, she was beginning to regret her decisions.

Swallowing hard, she clutched the gold key tightly in her hand. Gate of the Goat—another gate key. She didn't know how he ended up with Zoldeo but her mother would be ecstatic if she found out that Capricorn was theirs again. She smiled sadly. If only she could tell her.

The mark on the back of her neck was pulsating with magic. If Zeref was trying to contact her now, she wouldn't be able to answer it. She was drained and if an enemy stumbled upon her now, it would surely be the end of her.

"Damn it," she whispered to herself, vision hazy as she supported herself against a tree. Where were her magic pills when she needed them?

Ah, back in the forests of Pergrande.

She closed her eyes shut and carefully lowered herself onto the grass. Once she was seated, she ripped a strip of cloth from her cloak. She eyed the wound on her thigh. It was a deep cut, and she had miniature versions of it in different parts of her body. If she was going to find Zeref, she had to first find a healer.

With unsteady fingers, she deftly wrapped the cloth around her thigh. She secured it tight, making sure to put pressure on the gash but also to stop it from bleeding any further, biting onto the collar of her cloak so she wouldn't scream. She whimpered as she released the cloth and wiped the sweat on her brow.

Lucy looked up at the pouring sky, blinking away the black dots in her sight and sucked in a deep breath. Wherever Zeref was, she hoped he was safe.

迷

He was being carried away, just stirring into consciousness when the absence of Lucy became known to him. It was blurry, but he could hear a battle occurring behind him. And with an explosion, he was thrown to the floor. The ground scraped his skin but he couldn't stand. The girl carrying him was pleading for mercy and explaining that _he_ was their future.

Zeref wanted to laugh. _Him_? Their _future_? He was going to end that if he never found Lucy again.

"Ultear promised… If I can make it to the great world of magic, my town can go back to how it used to be," the girl spoke, her voice right next to him.

There was an amused laughter, shrill and sinful. "But the one who destroyed that town was Ultear-san!"

There was silence, apart from the man's merriment and the pitter-patter of the rain. Right—Ultear. She was the one who rendered him unconscious.

"That is… a lie…"

The god slayer continued to cackle into the storm and Zeref froze, feeling a terrible magic wash over him.

He pushed himself off the ground and breathed in shakily. "Acnologia…"

He was lifted up by the back of his robes and the man shook him. "Ha?" he questioned, brow arched.

Lucy—Lucy was missing. He needed to find her. All of a sudden he was burning with fury, and the urge to kill was growing stronger by the second. He slowly turned his head and stared at the god slayer, eyes narrowed, cold and merciless.

He felt the curse activating, death predation within his grasp. However he didn't suppress it, instead feeding it with hatred. The wave of black magic expanded around him and the Grimoire Heart mage was sucked out of his life, falling to the floor within moments. He shook with rage, his fists clenched and knuckles white. He reached out to Lucy's mark, trying to find her but he couldn't.

He drew in a shuddering breath, the anger slipping away from him. He looked at the god slayer with saddened eyes and whispered an apology.

"I didn't even know your name," he said quietly, crouching down to shut the corpse's eyes close. "One more dark moment to weigh on my conscience."

Zeref straightened and observed his surroundings. The pink-haired girl and the water mage were alive, thankfully. He managed a small smile before it quickly fell—Lucy. He needed to find Lucy.

He swallowed hard. "I had no reason to come to this age," he announced, hoping for anyone to hear. "I am not an ally to anyone. I am not an enemy to anyone. But still…"

He lifted his head and admired the weeping sky. "If an age is about to end right now," he began, eyes fluttering close. "I might awaken once again."

迷

In the midst of December, when the rain had finally ceased to pour and when the battles were already won, was the moment of fleeting happiness and hopeful peace.

" _Lucy!_ "

She heard him.

"Lucy! _Where the hell are you?!_ "

But she couldn't move.

"I'm…" she trailed off, gulping down her nerves as she remained frozen on the ground, gaping at the majestic creature flying before all of them. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was aware that she had to get up. She _had_ to, despite of her aching wound and her worn-out body.

She drew in a shaky breath. "Acno—Acnologia?"

Her words were like a warning, and soon the dragon landed on the ground with a heavy crash. It bellowed so loud, she couldn't hear anything else. Its cry resonated from every corner of the island and from where she sat, she could hear Fairy Tail beginning to recognize its presence.

"No…" Lucy whispered. "Leave… the island…"

" _Lucy!_ "

Zeref. He was calling her, but she couldn't stand, much less scream. She reached out to her mark and put the faintest bit of magic in it—I'm here, she mentally cried. _I'm here_.

"Run to the island!" she heard one of the fairies yell.

"Hurry! We're all going back to Fairy Tail together!"

"Run!"

A minute. There was only a minute of silence before a barrage of spells began hitting Acnologia. And Lucy swore beneath her breath, tears threatening to fall for people she had no bonds with. Only a second, before she felt Zeref materializing behind her and pulling her towards him. And only a moment of fear, as she saw the dragon take flight, mouth opening to release a blaring roar.

Zeref held her against his chest and hid her face in his robes, whispering into her ear, "Don't look, Lucy."

She could hear nothing but the rapid beating of their hearts—could feel nothing but his arms keeping them together. It was the only sense of security that she had, and yet it wasn't working. Nothing was, for with every beat of her pulse, was every memory of Fairy Tail. The guild she never knew. The guild that used to be her dream.

When he released her from his embrace, her eyes opened and she found themselves back at their campsite in the forest outside of Crocus. Lucy batted her eyelashes, aghast and rigid, her blood continuing to pound relentlessly in her ears.

"I panicked," Zeref breathed, hand pushed into his hair as he slumped against a tree. "I was supposed to teleport us back to Pergrande but—Lucy?"

She slowly raised her head and met his gaze. "They… Fairy Tail…" When he looked away, she finally let herself cry. It was quiet and short, because for some reason, the guild held a place in her heart even though she was never associated with it. The thought of their strong bond fading simply because of Acnologia, because Zeref had somewhat attracted him there—it was heartbreaking.

He pressed his lips into a firm line and said nothing. He also felt the incoming of tears but suppressed it, wanting to grieve in his own time for his brother that he supposed was now dead. Instead he ushered her to sit beside him and she did, desperately trying to overlook the flashes of pain that went up her thigh. His eyes flicked to her wounds and he frowned.

"What happened?" he murmured, reaching out to softly press two of his fingers against the severely stained cloth.

She recoiled, startled and hissing at the pain. "I was fighting one of the Seven Kin of Purgatory," she answered immediately, blinking the dots that were flying in her vision. "But I won and even got a gold key. I… I don't know how Capricorn ended in his hands because he was my mother's, but Zoldeo seemed messed up bad. I think he kind of stole the key and forced Capricorn to form a contract with him."

Zeref heaved a sigh, burying his face in her shoulder. "Sorry… I didn't want you to get hurt."

Her face flushed in embarrassment but she acted normal, running her fingers through his hair in assurance. "I-It's okay," she told him, smiling. "It can't be helped anyway."

He hummed something in reply but she didn't understand him, so she decided to let it be. He remained that way and together, they finally let themselves rest.

愛

Lucy didn't know when she started loving him.

"I think we can travel to Alvarez in a few months," he suggested, going over the maps on the table once more. "What do you say?"

She glanced at him from the corner of her eye and hummed. "Sure."

It had been a few months since the disappearance of Fairy Tail. They were the talk of the countries, and they were on the headline of newspapers, spreading the information around that the best members of the strongest guild in Fiore were gone. When the gossip had finally died down and the air turned less suffocating, Lucy and Zeref returned to Pergrande. Thankfully, their campsite was untouched and none of their valuables were stolen.

They rarely talked about the incident, since it was a sensitive topic to Zeref because of Natsu. But sometimes, when she caught him tossing in his sleep from nightmares, she would wake him up and they would talk about it so she could help him cope with the loss.

On some days, Zeref was quiet. Very, very quiet. He would be lost in his thoughts, admiring the sky with a crestfallen look on his face. But it was on these days that Lucy had begun to realize that she cared for him more than a companion, for it was during these days that he sought her the most for reassurance.

"I just realized that I never asked," he announced all of a sudden, making her turn to his direction once more. "But when's your birthday, Lucy?"

She blinked, clearly not expecting the inquiry. "July first…"

Zeref's eyes widened. "That's in a few days!"

"Eh?" Lucy marveled, musingly looking up to recount the days. "Oh, it is."

And it didn't really matter much—to her, at least. The last time she celebrated her birthday was three years ago, or was it four? She wasn't exactly that keen with dates anymore, but she knew that it was a long time ago. Back when she was still a Heartfilia, she was used to grand parties. But now she appreciated the peaceful nights that she spent by herself, thanking the heavens for answering her prayers.

Thus, she didn't pay much notice to Zeref's question. Perhaps it was just a passing thought that occurred. To be fair though, she didn't know when his birthday was either—she never asked and he never told her, so maybe this was just something that would be forgotten in a few days.

It was the first of July, and Lucy wasn't even aware of it. She spent the morning doing her usual chores—making breakfast, checking their food supply, fixing Zeref's workspace (which always seemed to have more papers each day), even visiting the market to buy a new blouse—and completely forgot that it was her birthday.

While she was washing her hands by the lake, she realized that she hadn't seen Zeref all day. Since yesterday, actually. The last time she saw him was last afternoon. He had given her errands to run and promised he would be back by midnight. She had fallen asleep while waiting for him, so she simply assumed that he woke up early to leave without even announcing his arrival.

Lucy frowned and patted her hands dry on her leggings. This wasn't the first time that he went away without notice, so why was she worrying so much?

By nightfall, he was still absent. It was clear that he wouldn't be home anytime soon. She finished the dinner she cooked for the both of them and washed the pots, putting out the fire afterwards. But as she turned her back to head back into her tent, the wood behind her cracked.

She swiftly spun around, eyes widening at the sight of the flame flickering in front of her. However, it wasn't the fire that surprised her so much. It was the sight of him, clad in his usual robes, not looking any different than his accustomed guise, and the warm smile on his face that made every inch of her flush in affection.

"Y-You're home," she stammered nervously. "I, uh, ate all of our dinner already."

Zeref shook his head. "It's okay," he assured, smile widening. "Sorry for being late…"

Lucy furrowed her eyebrows, puzzled. "Why? I mean, i-it's okay, you're late sometimes anyway," she said quietly, trying her best to look at everything but him. Because for some reason, her heart wouldn't calm down.

"Lucy."

And she didn't know what made her meet his eyes—if it was the way he said her name or not—but when she did, she swore time stopped.

"Happy birthday."

Suddenly he was standing behind her once more, his hands brushing past her hair. Something small and cold touched her neck and with an inaudible click, Zeref stepped back.

Swallowing thickly, she brought trembling fingers to trace the outline of the heart-shaped gem, dangling from a silver chain. Her throat tightened with emotion and she stared at him, tears blurring her vision. "W-What is… I d-don't know what—thank you," she breathed, blinking rapidly as he cupped her cheeks to wipe away her cries of joy.

"That pendant will keep you protected from the curse," he explained softly, chuckling when she hiccupped. "This way, even if my black magic somehow reaches you, the pendant will absorb it. It will take a few days for the gem to clear again, but we'll just have to make sure that you're far away from me when I lose control again."

Lucy giggled through her tears, sniffing. "Thank you… so much," she told him, reaching up to brush away the hair on his face. "I—"

Zeref leaned in and captured her lips, bringing her closer to him as she froze. But slowly the shock faded away and she wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him nearer, wanting to feel him as the magic inside him went loose. Miasma expanded around them but he kissed her again and again, the gem turning black as it absorbed the spell.

It was exactly at this moment, when she remembered when she began loving him.

And when it was over, he took a step back to catch his breath, leaning his forehead happily against hers. "I love you," he whispered softly, warm and sincere.

Lucy laughed, disbelieving as she whispered back, "I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are three kanjis again in this part.
> 
> 安 - peace (however if misread, it can mean "cheap")  
> 迷 - lost  
> 愛 - love


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "First, he is terribly afraid of dying because he hasn't yet lived." — Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis

The rain was pouring hard one morning, and Lucy and Zeref were cooped up inside the four wheeler, with the thunder clapping above them and a howling wind reverberating across the forest. They had closed the windows and doors, resulting to an echo of their voices as they talked in loud octaves, attempting to be heard through the continuous pelting.

Lucy tried not to look too panicked, but every time she caught sight of her dark-colored gem, she just couldn't help but worry that what if—what if his curse was to go rampant at this time.

"I'll just teleport myself out of here."

She lifted her head, surprised eyes meeting his warm ones. She flushed and nodded. "Sorry… I was just…"

"It's okay," he reassured her, leaning back on the bench as he admired the chaos outside. "I was thinking about that too."

She kept talking to him as his head laid on the window, with droplets of water sliding down its surface and he replied with lengthy answers, his voice serene and peaceful. It was a moment later when the rain quieted down and so did she.

When he looked back at her, she was unconscious.

He bit his lip and looked at his hand, a burning hatred steeling his gaze before he ran his fingers through his hair. A sigh escaped his lips. He closed his eyes, counted to three, and teleported away.

接

"You're alive," the Queen whispered, unbelieving. "Did you… Did you manage to find Zeref, dear?"

"She did."

Lucy choked on her breath as she felt his presence beside her, dark and untamed.

"T-The Black Wizard?!" the King spluttered, hands gripping the armrests of his throne, knuckles turning white.

Zeref smiled politely. "Just call me by my name, please."

Lucy tried to calm her heart and even out her breathing, a stiff, apologetic smile spreading her lips as she faced the two rulers. "He gave me what I needed, and today my mother still lives."

The Queen recovered from her shock, eyes now filled with relief and pleasant surprise. "Zeref," she drawled, sudden realization sparking in her stare. "You've been staying in our forests."

"We have."

Her long gown hissed as she shifted in her chair. "What business do you want to discuss with us that made you enter the city, risking your presence, and visit us?" She glanced at the blonde beside him. "Although I suppose, bringing dear Lucy along is quite tactical of you."

Zeref chuckled. "She was the one who wished to meet you, Isabel."

Lucy turned, about to ask why he knew her name when she did not, but kept her mouth shut instead. The King heaved a heavy sigh. "We're just glad that she is safe and that you haven't done any harm to her."

Isabel nodded grimly and then squared her shoulders. "Let us talk about other matters. What brings you two here?"

"I just wish to warn you of an upcoming war," Lucy replied first, ignoring the look Zeref sent her. "Even though it might only affect Fiore, I just want Pergrande to prepare if ever the attacks reach this far."

However, she knew that he wouldn't go that far. Zeref had informed her that if he decided to push through, he was going to make sure that Pergrande would be untouched. Lucy wondered why, and there was this assumption that perhaps it was because it had become their home, even though they only stayed outside of the city.

"We'll strengthen our army in advance," the King told them, eyes hardening at the news.

Lucy smiled warily. "Thank you for your time," she said and bowed deeply.

Isabel and the King watched them leave quietly, noticing the way Zeref's hand gripped her waist before they vanished.

接

The Alvarez Empire was massive, if Lucy had anything to say about it. She was introduced to his personal guards as soon as they had arrived and he made her promise to not call him Zeref in public. However, she rejected the offer to live in the palace, instead choosing to reside in an inn that was run by a lovely lady named Olivia. On some days she would go out to visit him, while on the other days he would sleep with her when he knew his magic was at bay.

Today was one of the days when she had to go to the palace. She was up at dawn, and the beginning of a sunrise was slipping through her curtained windows, slightly illuminating her dark room. The wind was lovely as it kissed her skin, a little bit on the colder side but not enough to make her want to cover up.

She grabbed her cloak from the clothing rack and wore it over her simple choice of pants and a top. Even after all those years, she still hadn't replaced it. Perhaps because it had a sentimental value. Perhaps because Zeref had enchanted it for her and knew that he wouldn't do it again.

Breakfast with Olivia was always pleasant. Laid in front of her was a plate full of scrambled eggs, another with meat from some exquisite animal, a bowl of buttered vegetables and loaves upon loaves of bread. She wondered why she had so much food.

"Oh, I'm having some friends over," Olivia replied simply, sipping on a cup of tea as her jade eyes flicked upwards to meet Lucy's. "And you?"

"Visiting the Emperor," was her short reply. Olivia already knew what that meant. After the first incident when Zeref had gone to stay the night with her, the innkeeper was left flabbergasted the next morning when she found him in her room sleeping. Before he left, he made her swear an oath to never tell anyone that he visited the inn.

Olivia was trustworthy enough so sometimes Lucy told her about their travels. But only hand-picked ones, and never the stories that could potentially put any of them in danger.

"When will you return then?" the woman asked, her chestnut colored hair falling over her eyes as she tilted her head to the side.

Lucy smiled. "I never stay long enough to sleep overnight, you know," she reminded her, taking a last bite of meat before downing her coffee. It nearly burned her tongue. "I have to go now."

"Stay safe!"

"Will do!"

Lucy stepped out onto the cobbled pavement and relinquished the rare peace. With the incoming war that Zeref wished to wage on Ishgar, the citizens of Alvarez were tense and always shouting out orders. There was always some sort of ruckus happening out there during the busy hours of the day. The market was even worse, but she liked the things they sold there so she decided not to mind.

As she made her quiet walk to the palace, thoughts littered her mind. It had been five years now since that day on Tenrou Island. Five whole years since she last saw the Black Dragon—since they moved to Alakitasia. No one knew, not even Zeref himself, where he was now. Although he had some guesses and well-thought assumptions, he wasn't going to kill him any time yet, apparently. And the war—she didn't know what it was for. The most he had told her was that it was to take back something powerful, but _what_ , she had no clue.

She wasn't upset that he was telling her less lately. To be honest, she was thankful that he kept her mostly in the dark. She didn't know what she truly felt about the war, but she knew that she didn't want to be a part of it unless he asked her to. And he hadn't _yet_.

Lucy reached the palace in half an hour. The guards stationed at the gate wordlessly granted her entrance, giving her a deep bow as she passed them. They had already learned their lesson the first time she visited and had made her wait for almost an hour, before Zeref himself went to get her.

Brandish greeted her at the foot of the stairs and curtsied when she approached. Lucy already told her not to, but the woman was stubborn. "His Majesty is in his study," the green-haired girl said as they walked up the steps.

"Oh," Lucy breathed. "Is he busy or what?"

"No, just overlooking proposals from some of the officials."

She nodded, lips tightening as they entered the palace and was met with servants rushing about. She turned to Brandish. "What's going on?"

"Ah," the girl said, as if having remembered only now. "There was a fight among the Spriggan 12 earlier so they're repairing the damages."

Lucy arched a brow. "And you aren't helping?"

Brandish smiled slyly, eyes gleaming with mischief. "Let them deal with it," she dismissed, waving her hand.

It wasn't long before they reached Zeref's study. Lucy gripped the gold doorknob, insides twisting with happiness and turned it. Brandish had already vanished back into the hallways to give them privacy. When she walked inside and closed the door behind her, Zeref was still hunched over his desk, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

She smiled fondly. "Headache?"

He bristled, stunned as he lifted his head to look at her. His posture relaxed afterwards. "I'm the strongest mage of all time, and I let a woman sneak up on me," he said to himself, chuckling. "Good morning, Lucy."

She grinned and finally approached him, taking a seat in front of his desk as he leaned over to place a kiss on her forehead. "Good morning. You look troubled," she commented, fixing the papers that were scattered all over his table.

"Not anymore," he replied, looking at her with that same warm gaze that she loved so much. "Do you want to go somewhere?"

Lucy shook her head, smiling. "I think I'd rather just stay here and chat. Watch you work, and stuff."

He returned her smile. "Alright."

The sun was beginning to set when they decided to leave his study. The halls were quieter now, void of the chattering of servants and the booming voices of his personal guards. It was on moments like these that she wondered how he conquered the nation. How did he make Alvarez grow this big?

They went to the balcony and stared out into the setting yellow orb in the distance, once again, having someone by her side as it happened. The silence somehow unnerved her.

"Lucy," he began, pausing only to swallow. "I have something to ask of you."

She felt her heartbeat quicken inside her chest and something roared in her ears, but she turned to him and her eyes continued to remain sincere. "What is it?" she asked.

Zeref's chin inclined slightly. When he met her gaze, there was an odd emotion in the way he looked at her that made her insides melt. "I never planned to ask you of this but…" His smile saddened and he reached for her hand. "Will you join the war for us?"

Lucy's breath hitched in her throat and her mind screamed at her that she was right— _please_ , it begged. _Don't go_.

She tightened her hold on his fingers and pressed her lips into a thin line. "I don't see why you want me to join. Are Brandish and the others not enough?" she questioned softly.

"I want to win this war more than anything else. But I want to do it with you."

Her forehead creased. "I don't wish to cause any more bloodshed, Zeref."

"Fight with me, Lucy," he pleaded. "I will watch your back and you can watch mine."

Maybe it was the way he said her name, or how his eyes seemed to beg. Maybe it was simply because she loved him, that she wanted to help him accomplish his goals and be by his side through thick and thin. But whatever reason she had was lost by the time she had looked away.

"I will join you."

病

It was a quarter after midnight when she jolted awake. Lucy wasted no time in getting the blanket off her and swinging her legs over the bed to get on her feet. She stumbled into the bathroom, her gut twisting before she bent over the toilet bowl and emptied the contents of her stomach into it, along with a tinge of deep crimson.

She leaned back and sat on the heels of her feet, shuddering. The night was cold and irrefutably lonely. She reached out towards the mark on her back and tried to give Zeref a caress, a whisper in his ear that she missed him.

Within minutes, there was a knock on her door.

Lucy opened it to find him in his sleeping clothes, made of fine silk that made his skin seem paler than usual. Her eyes slowly trailed upwards, from the hem of his top, to his chest, to his jaw and finally—his eyes. She gave him a breathtaking smile.

"Lucy," he murmured, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. "Did you have a nightmare?"

She tilted her head to the side. "Not really."

Zeref gave her a long, calculating gaze before he grabbed her hand and tugged her towards the bed. She followed him wordlessly, nestling into his side as soon as he lied down. But Zeref twisted her around so her back was pressing against his front, his arms wrapped around her waist as he pulled her closer. He sighed against her neck and placed a kiss on the skin that was exposed for him.

"I wish you just stayed in the palace," he said softly, rubbing relaxed circles on her midriff with his thumb.

She suppressed a shiver. "I wouldn't mind… if only it wasn't so full of people."

"And why not?"

Her eyes fluttered close. "It reminds me of the Heartfilia Konzern."

His finger stopped, and then resumed shortly. "I can dismiss all of them by evening, if you wish," he suggested, kissing her shoulder once more. It was an apologetic gesture. "Or I can sleep here every night, if that is also what you wish."

Lucy swallowed thickly and rasped, "But you can't."

Zeref buried his face in her neck and released a shaky breath that made her arch against him. His hand reached up to touch the necklace he gave her, lifting the pendant into the moonlight to find it clear as water. He dropped it and brushed her arm with his fingers before settling them back onto her abdomen.

"This is a night when I can."

It was all he said before he turned her back around and brought her in for a deep kiss, one that he kept giving her for the rest of the night, while her quiet, trembling voice filled the crisp, cold air.

病

"They aren't dead?" Lucy questioned, surprise masking her face.

Zeref shook his head, and together they stared out into the horizon, past the city's countless houses and buildings, past the docks and the ocean, as if they could see the other continent. Almost as if they could see the border of Ishgar.

He sighed. "I don't wish to die."

She glanced at him from her corner of her eye. "How can you die? You're immortal," she reminded him, puzzled. Yes, _why_ was he worrying about death so much? It was one of the reasons why she wanted to stay away from the war, because she knew he would win anyway. Wounded, perhaps. But not dead. Never dead.

He didn't meet her gaze. "Seven years ago, I went to meet Natsu not because I missed him, or because I wished for a family reunion," he began, throat bobbing as he gulped. "I went to meet him because he's the only one who can kill me."

Lucy's eyes widened and the blood in her veins turned icy. "What?" she breathed.

"That day on Tenrou Island was meant to be my last," he continued, trying not to look at the woman that made him live, despite his dark days and his black heart. "Now that he's alive…"

She saw him through her tears and she took a step back. "Did you—did you not care that you would leave me?" she asked him, wringing her hands in front of her. "Did it _not_ _matter_ to you that I would be sad and lonely for eighty or more years?"

He lowered his head. "At that time, no. I _cared_ , but not enough to not leave you."

"You were going to break our contract," she said hoarsely, chest squeezing with pain. "Our deal—our deal was to accompany you for the rest of my life." She sobbed into her hands. "I already pretended not to know who Mavis was."

Zeref stiffened, slowly looking over his shoulder. "W-What?"

"You think I don't hear you say her name sometimes when you sleep?" she told him, laughing scornfully. "I decided long ago not to care, because whoever this girl was, I knew she was dead. I knew that this Mavis girl was the one you visited at Tenrou, and that she must have made you happy for a moment long ago."

It was dreadfully silent apart from the mess that she was and the breeze that decided to blow her hair back. She gave him a bitter smile. "I was just frustrated that you couldn't even tell me. And now— _now_ you tell me you've been planning to kill yourself all along?"

He reached for her. "Not anymore," he murmured, as if to coax her into his arms, but even his voice was broken. "Not anymore."

" _Liar_."

She didn't dare move as he held her to him, her shoulders racking with loud sobs. "You _coward_ ," she whispered loudly into his robes. "If you're so disappointed in yourself," she paused, rubbing at her eyes, "then atone for your mistakes! Fix them, kill your demons and the flaws of this world. Don't—don't even think for a second that death or whatever dark magic you have to reset time is the answer, because this world matters, too."

Zeref hadn't realized he was crying until a drop of salty water tickled his chin. He tightened his arms around her and swallowed thickly. "I'm sorry," he replied in a strained voice. " _I'm sorry._ "

"If you're going to d-die," she said, choking on the words. "Then at least do it when I have passed away peacefully."

A shudder wrecked down his spine, heart aching at the thought. "No," he objected, squeezing his eyes shut. "You're not going to die, Lucy. I won't let that happen."

She laughed once more, but it still didn't hold any happiness, only miserable agony. "Unlike you Zeref, I'm a mortal. My existence is nothing but a few passing days to your eternal life."

He said through gritted teeth, "That isn't true."

"It is," she countered, using his body as support for she was exhausted—of everything. "I… I want to go back to the inn."

"Not yet," he begged. "Let's talk about this first."

But she shook her head and pushed him away. "No," she mumbled, and she looked at him to reveal drained eyes, the skin beneath them red. "I'm leaving."

" _Lucy_."

She would have turned around—would have, but she found herself falling and the world tilted before her as her knees buckled. His name was all she said before he caught her just in time, her head inches away from the floor and blood dripping from her mouth.

He swore under his breath and called for Brandish.

責

Lucy awoke to the rumbling of clouds rolling over the empire.

Brandish sat beside her bed, a familiar heart-shaped gem in her hands as she enlarged it and compressed it to her will. She didn't stop even as she sighed.

"How's your head?"

The celestial mage blinked before looking around her. Judging from the white marble floor and pale-colored walls, lit by extravagant chandeliers hanging from the high ceiling, she knew she was at the palace. It was very much different from the dull interior of her inn room that looked dim even in the morning. And yet, the palace gleamed with brazen lights despite it being nightfall.

A sound like distress and reassurance escaped her lips.

"We told his Majesty it wouldn't work, you know," Brandish began quietly, that mask of indifference on her face slightly wavering. "This little thing." As if to prove a point, she willed the pendant to squeeze in on itself until it was as tiny as an ant.

"What do you mean?"

She returned it to its original size and gently placed it on the bedside table. "E.N.D wears a scarf around his neck that keeps him safe from the Emperor's Curse."

Lucy swallowed hard. "What of it?"

Brandish met her gaze with a silence that roared in their ears, and she turned away with a grim face. "If he had given you something made of dragon scales instead," she said quietly, gently—almost with pity. "Then this would actually work."

Speechless, Lucy could only focus on keeping her breathing even, on making sure her heart wasn't beating too fast for her to faint once more. She remembered their argument, how she had hated him with all of her heart and yet… At this moment, she felt nothing but remorse.

"You're growing ill, aren't you?"

The mere fact that Brandish had stated it with barely contained sadness made her grip the sheets.

Lucy breathed shakily, "Does he—does he know?"

A subtle nod. "In between our war meetings and plans, he gives us orders to find a way to render you immune from Ankhseram. Invel told him that the only way would be to use Acnologia's scales since Irene refuses to let her _gorgeous scales_ be used as an accessory, but he's still trying to track him down."

"And where is he right now?"

Brandish cracked a smile through her apathetic demeanor. "Far away. His Majesty doesn't want to risk being near you at the moment."

The clap of thunder made her jolt before Lucy relaxed into the soft pillows beneath her head. She finally released her white-knuckled grip on the white cloth covering her shivering body. Brandish frowned. "Are you cold?"

Lucy smiled faintly. "A bit," she replied, casting a disbelieving glance at her friend's choice of clothing. "Are _you_ not?"

"No. It must be your body, since it is very weak at the moment."

Nodding, she heaved a sigh before she started to push herself into an upright position. Her bones and muscles complained with every movement and she suppressed a hiss. Brandish didn't stop her nor help her, but she kept a careful watch on her as she picked up a magazine and flipped through the pages. A flash of lightning enveloped the room in white light as the blonde successfully leaned against the headboard of the bed.

She panted slightly at the amount of effort it took just to sit. "Will I get my strength back?" Lucy inquired, reaching out to get her gem.

"Yes, if you rest for another day and drink your medicine tonight. But I make no promises—it could take days," Brandish answered, her tone full of boredom. It did not, however, hide the relief that was delicately hidden behind it.

"Do you think," Lucy paused to lock the necklace on her nape, "this will all work out?"

"Maybe."

She opened her mouth to question Brandish again, but the sky whitened once more before unleashing a heavy downpour, accompanied by a loud crackle of thunder, and she closed her mouth to watch it all unravel.

Perhaps, the rain was sharing her thoughts tonight.

責

The next few days were still and silent, if only to give Lucy enough time to heal and return to her daily routine. Zeref had visited her once, bearing the face of a cold emperor at first. But eventually he wavered in her presence and apologized for his actions. She did the same, but none of their affections were shared as he kept a healthy distance away from her and immediately left. She hadn't seen him since.

Irene had also visited her, offering her smug remarks as she did so. The blonde had nearly thrown her out. However, any wrath she held vanished as the redhead handed her a tiny vial with swirling black liquid that could grant her strength against the curse—only for a _few_ times, she had warned cautiously. Any more and her body would grow immune to the potion and be rendered ineffective. Overdosing was a high risk. Twice a month was enough. Once every two weeks.

So Lucy spent her time reading and painstakingly exercising her limbs. In the early hours of the morning, she would get on her feet to walk a few steps away from the bed and walk back. She would bend her knees until they started to ache and roll her shoulders. In the afternoon, she had Brandish as company if the warrior wasn't too busy with preparing for the war, but she was present most of the time. Seldom even bringing food with her that Lucy could actually enjoy eating.

She would be lying if she said that she was happy. She wasn't, not in the least. Although she had to admit that staying in the palace was better than being cooped up in the inn all day, with Olivia being the only person that would've probably visited her. Apart from the bustling of servants and the barked orders, she didn't entirely mind. _Here_ , she had people she truly wished to be with.

Because despite not being happy, she knew there was hope. It was beyond her understanding _what_ exactly that hope was, but there were… breakthroughs. Miniscule and insignificant as they were, the personal guards of the Emperor along with his best healers worked together to find a solution to their tragedy. A loophole, as they called it. Some other way to break his curse or at least render her immune from it.

On nights when she was too preoccupied with her thoughts for sleep, she wondered if they hated her, despised her. She was taking up too much of their time. Instead of training troops and planning for the war, they were mandated to find her a cure. Even though none of the Spriggan 12 expressed their opinions about it and seemed not to mind at all, she simply couldn't help but think.

Couldn't stop about wondering if she was becoming a burden to them all.

She was halfway into her little exercise when the door to her _slightly_ smaller bedroom—one she had requested to be moved in after her first night in the previous room—opened for Zeref to appear behind it. He seemed to have realized that he had interrupted her brooding, standing in the hallway with his hands fisted at his sides.

A silent question if he could enter.

And she knew it was silly, to give her pendant a quick scan, but she had already done it before she could stop herself. With the barest dip of her chin, she let him in.

Zeref shut the door soundlessly, and for a moment, he didn't move. He looked reluctant to.

But her eyes softened at the sight of him and she spread her arms out to welcome him. "You look tired, my dear emperor," she hummed, smiling gently.

He was within her reach instantly. A shudder went through her as he rested his forehead in the crook of her neck, the previous stony ruler now reduced to a trembling mess, so similar to the lost boy she had once viewed him as back at Lucia.

She couldn't help but laugh. "I missed you too," she whispered against his hair, placing a soft kiss on the crown of his head.

He squeezed her for a last time and finally leaned back, vulnerable eyes gazing down at her. "How—how's the medicine?" he asked hoarsely.

"It's… doing its job," Lucy answered carefully, swallowing. "How's the war-planning?"

"Postponed."

She stiffened. "What?"

He sat on the edge of the bed and clasped his fingers in the space between his knees. "Ishgar is the last thing on my mind right now," he explained softly. "I've called out every good healer I know and I have exerted every means possible to help you— _us_."

Lucy wanted to say something, but could only furrow her eyebrows. He understood her even still. "One thing that I regret the most in my four centuries of suffering," he paused, face twisting with anguish, "is that I hadn't done anything to stop Mavis from dying."

She didn't recoil at the mention of the dead girl's name. She didn't react at all.

"But that was how I learned of the curse's contradiction. Despite her being an immortal, cursed by the same magic as I was, my love for her killed her." Lucy counted the beats of her heart at the momentary hush. "So, forgive me, if I do not wish to repeat the same mistake. Forgive me, Lucy, if being with me has only caused you pain and sorrow."

She opened her mouth to disagree, but realized a second later that he wasn't going to hear any of it. She pressed her lips together instead and moved to sit beside him, tenderly gripping his fingers with her own.

He returned the action. "I'm scared, Lucy."

"I know."

He looked at her, eyes so wide she could see her reflection in them.

"I am, too."

代

Lucy was flipping a page over when she heard shouting and running. Dropping the book slightly in her lap, she craned her neck over to the door and wondered what the commotion was about.

Her questions were answered as Zeref burst into her room, Brandish and Dimaria behind him. The two females looked torn—almost upset, whereas the Emperor appeared wild and ecstatic. Soon enough, Irene had joined the trio, stopping behind Brandish to peer into her room.

Lucy blinked. "What's with the party?"

"We found a—solution," Zeref gasped, trying to catch her eyes.

But she was focused on Dimaria, on the furious look on her face. "It's a fool's errand," she gritted out. " _No one_ should go through this!"

Brandish, unsurprisingly, offered no words and had simply given Lucy a look of sadness.

"It's the only way," Zeref snapped, glaring at his personal guard. "What do you suggest we _do_ , then?"

Irene smiled slyly, her red lips glinting under the light. "I suggest we _find_ another solution, your Majesty. This one is too… precarious, even for my liking."

"What—what's the solution?" Lucy breathed, and the four whipped their heads towards her, having just forgotten her for a moment.

It was Brandish this time that spoke. "August has found a way to somehow make this work. The solution is… out of this world."

Irene's smile widened. "Literally."

Lucy wasn't given time to speak as Dimaria intervened, "And I'm telling you _this_ —if that could actually work, then why hasn't he tried contacting Ankhseram in four hundred years?" Her voice was a near growl. "It's not possible. And if worse comes to worse, he could take his Majesty himself!"

Realization dawned on Lucy as she took in the words and her breathing hitched, getting the attention of the four once more. Her forehead creased. "Correct me if I'm wrong… but are you saying that the solution that August-san has come up with is to _talk_ with the god that had cursed Spriggan?"

Dimaria snarled, "It's more than just talking."

"Bargain," Lucy breathed, and the fierce warrior stilled. The _entire room_ stilled. "You want to _bargain_ with Ankhseram—for me."

The redhead behind them inclined her head ever so slightly, mirth dancing in her hazel eyes. "That is right, girl," she drawled. "But do not flatter yourself. We are doing this for his Majesty and no one else."

"Irene," Zeref warned.

But Lucy didn't so much as flinch at the harsh truth. "Then I have a request, if we're planning to go along to this solution."

"We're _not_ ," Dimaria hissed.

Brandish flicked her eyes to the blonde warrior, laying a hand on her elbow in a silent plea to stay out of it. However, Dimaria slapped her hand away and remained seething, watching with blazing eyes at what would happen.

Zeref held Lucy's gaze, his eyes warming at the sight of her looking so healthy at last. "What is it, Lucy?" he asked quietly.

She didn't look away from him as she once again counted the beats of her heart at the silence, at the anticipation of her bizarre request.

Fifteen beats.

"Let me be the one to bargain with Ankhseram." Another beat. "I will talk to him."

Zeref was about to argue with her, skin as white as fresh parchment, but Irene gripped his shoulder and held him back.

The redhead's smile was serpentine. "Very well then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are four kanjis in this part.
> 
> 接 - contact or touch  
> 病 - ill (sick)  
> 責 - burden  
> 代 - substitute or exchange—a lot of meaning is packed in this small kanji


	5. Chapter 5

A year. That was all she had been given.

It was a bright, chilly morning when she awoke with pleasant satisfaction. Lucy's inn room was dark compared to the blinding brilliance of the palace rooms, but even still, it wasn't a bother. It was rather comforting to wake up to the glare of the sun attacking her from the slips in her curtained windows. It made her feel chirpier than usual—made her forget the problems that she would have to deal with in the future.

It was on this day that she realized that her therapies and healing were finished.

A few months ago, she was reduced to this weak, trembling human that could barely walk to the door before collapsing. And because of that, she had maids helping her throughout her days—she didn't like every bit of it—and August had given her time to rest before her deal with Irene was set.

She dressed _and_ bathed herself on her own this time. She opted for a dress with a rather modest neckline that had a long skirt that swished against her ankles and sighed amongst each other. Her necklace was still locked around her neck and the pendant rested in the crook between her collar bone, clear for most of the month as Zeref was too busy planning for the ritual and trying to keep the Spriggan 12 tame to grace her with his presence.

Lucy kept all of her dreams to herself. She couldn't tell anyone, not even Olivia—who visited her twice in the duration of her stay at the palace—or Brandish. She couldn't tell them that she occasionally dreamed of a man with very short hair, in a kimono of the deepest black with red hibiscuses. She would approach him and sit in front of him, and together they would talk about things she could not really remember. But at the end of every dream, he would smile at her that promised destruction and peace, everything and nothing, and she would wake up in a cold sweat.

She had a guess that he was Ankhseram, but she wasn't going to tell anyone that.

Gathering up her wits, she stepped into the hallways of the palace and began her search for Zeref. She wasn't well accustomed to the twists and turns of the gigantic castle, but she was going to try her best anyway.

It was bustling with servants as usual. But the people in this wing didn't know her as well as those in the south wing, where she usually entered through and would be greeted with guards that would seldom escort her to the emperor themselves. Here, the servants barely cast her a glance—aside from the few maids who took care of her—and allowed her to roam around.

In the few months that she was ill and nearly-dying, she had missed many things. One of which was Zeref, who fussed too much and didn't dare approach her when she was far too weak to be touched. On some nights, she would pretend to sleep as he whispered his days to her, his hand gently gripping her fingers while he kissed her brow and left. On these nights she would wish for her recovery to come sooner, so she would be able to lie awake beside him again.

Irene needn't mention that she was annoyed with the deadline that was given to Lucy. A year was long enough already, and to be completely honest, she was itching to talk to Ankhseram. She often wondered—what kind of disaster would the god bring in the future?

Lucy paused her walk for a moment to gather her breath. What would the god do to her, once they met?

She somehow did not want to know.

Pushing her thoughts aside, she resumed her search for the emperor and after a few wrong turns later, she finally found him.

He was leaning over a desk full of papers and he looked the same as she last saw him. His hair appeared to be freshly trimmed, and his robes were more elegant than usual, but his face, his smile, his eyes—they were still the same.

He lifted his head as soon as she entered his office, a small smile gracing his lips. "How are you feeling?"

She closed the door behind her. "I'm alright," she replied, smiling back. "I still cannot find my way through these halls."

"Do you want me to provide a map?" he asked casually whilst skimming through his documents.

"I would look silly."

He laughed. "No, you wouldn't. You look good whatever it is you are doing."

Looking at Zeref, her demeanor softened graciously. There was nothing more calming than seeing him after months of suffering. Her insides burned with a desire to pull him into a crushing embrace, one that would leave the both of them breathless.

It saddened her to think that this boy, this lonely, amazing boy, was bound to live alone forever.

"Lucy?"

She dragged herself out of her thoughts and hummed in response.

"What's bothering you?"

"Nothing," she answered dismissively. "How are they? Brandish and the rest? I haven't seen her in a while."

Zeref pondered about this for a moment, one hand buried in his hair as he exhaled slowly through his nose. "They are out on a mission as of now. I told them to go to Ishgar to search for documents regarding Ankhseram's curse. There are not many documents about it here on Alakitasia." He crumpled a document and threw it behind him. "And don't worry, I warned them not to cause any harm or bring attention upon themselves."

Lucy smiled wryly. "I'm not really worried about them being noticed."

"Then what?" he asked, pausing in his work to look up at her.

She lifted a chair to place in front of his desk and sat down, crossing one ankle over the other. "I'm just worried whether they think that their mission is pointless. After all… Irene does not fancy me that much, I deduced."

"That is correct," Zeref mused, watching her movements with mirth-filled eyes. "But from the many years that I have known Irene, I've observed that she sucks at expressing her emotions or what she truly feels."

"You're saying she likes me."

He chuckled. "I did not say that." A glare from his lover made him grin. "But perhaps, she does."

Lucy rested her chin atop the back of her hand and breathed out gently. "Perhaps—she _did_ give me medicine to help me heal faster. I just felt that she disliked me because of how she reacted whenever I was around, or because of the mere fact that she's doing all this work not for you but for me." She smiled sadly. "I might be a waste of time."

"You're not," he reassured, gathering the papers in his hands and piling them neatly to the side.

Deciding not to push the topic any further, Lucy tilted her head to the side and looked past Zeref where the balcony was open, a soft breeze ruffling the curtains inward. The sky was a silvery blue, swathed with clumps of ivory and decorated with a single, brilliant orb of gold. It was calming to see the world so undisturbed, as if there was no such thing as demons or gods, curses or blessings, and most importantly, of the mortal and immortal.

The immortal.

The _only_ immortal.

She glanced at Zeref, taking in every detail of his face—from his flawless skin, to the bridge of his nose, to the lashes that shaded his eyes. He looked very, very young. Too young for a four-hundred-year-old mage. Not a wrinkle in place, nor a freckle dotting his cheeks. Not a single hair of white. There weren't even scars on his body. And to think that four hundred years that he lived, he had been wounded multiple times, some considered even life-threatening, and yet no mark remained.

He was old and young at the same time, powerful and handsome—but lonely. Terribly lonely.

"Zeref?"

He flicked his eyes upwards to meet hers, a slight crinkle to the sides as they gleamed. "Yes?"

"I love you," she whispered, smiling a moment later.

Surprised, he blinked and flushed slightly. "I see," he replied, chuckling.

"I love you too."

医

Aquarius folded her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyebrows. "It's foolish and impossible, brat," she hissed, watching the said girl stretch her limbs in front of her. "A god is a god. One must never get themselves involved with one, much less the god of life and death."

"There is nothing else I can do," Lucy explained, frowning.

The spirit rolled her eyes. "Yes, there is," she retorted. "Leave the damn brat. He's too dangerous and too old for you anyway."

Lucy glared at Aquarius warningly. "I can force close your gate, you know," she reminded, standing up from her position on the floor. "You know I can't leave Zeref."

A tense silence followed her statement, and the spirit watched her master with a frustrated glint in her eyes. Was the girl stupid? She did not know. She never did get how that mind of hers worked. She wanted to knock some sense into her most of the time. As much as she adored Layla's daughter, she would never show it. Not in a million years. It was just not in her nature to do so. And so was agreeing with the girl's futile dreams.

She clenched and unclenched her hands unknowingly. "He's four hundred years old," Aquarius deadpanned.

Lucy lifted a brow. "And so? He doesn't look like it."

"He'll never die."

She froze mid-step, her throat bobbing as she swallowed thickly. "Tell me something I don't already know," she murmured, pushing her way through the spirit and taking out a key. "Leave me alone, Aquarius."

With a wave of her gate key and a hiss from the mermaid, she vanished in a brilliance of gold light. Glad to finally have some peace and quiet, Lucy sat on the edge of the bed and held her head in her hands. She could feel a headache coming and she hated it. It was getting frequent after all.

Sighing, she began to massage her temples. She knew that at some point, the mermaid was right. Zeref _was_ older than her. And he _was_ immortal. Still, that never really did stop her from loving the cursed boy. And although she was merely hoping to be immune from Zeref's miasma, perhaps she could convince Ankhseram to make her immortal, too.

Perhaps.

夢

_It smelled of incense and green tea._

_She knew where she was before she even opened her eyes. The smell was always the same in the temple, where red-painted wood lined the walls and tatami mats covered the floor in the rooms. The hallway was dim every time, lit by fireflies and lined with doors. She took off her slippers by the entrance and stepped onto the cool, wooden floor. She paused, hesitant. She had never tried not entering the temple._

_She looked over her shoulder and blinked her eyes at the pitch-black view that greeted her. Exhaling quietly from her nose, she took her first step into the hallway._

_Fireflies stuck to her kimono as she walked. She was always wearing a kimono whenever she visited the temple. It was customary, she supposed. But this one was of black silk, decorated with pink hyacinths and white vines. The obi tied around her torso was of the deepest red, with a gold link clanging with every step. The elegance of her kimono this time around was the only change that she noticed—other than that, everything else was the same._

_The last room at the end of the hallway was the only door that had a mat in front of it. That was why she entered it during her first time coming here. Until now, she didn't know why he kept a welcome mat when he hated visitors._

_She slid the door open and went inside the receiving room. There was a table in the middle, with a plate of sweet dangos for her to eat and a steaming cup of green tea beside it. But he wasn't seated there like she expected him to._

_"Ah, you look nicer today."_

_She whipped her head behind her and found herself staring into a pair of onyx eyes. She stumbled backwards. "A-Ankhseram."_

_He smiled, head cocking to the side. "Hello, Lucy."_

_She side-stepped to let him pass and slid the door close before following him. The tatami mat was warm beneath her feet, something that only happened in the receiving room. The rest of the temple, last time she checked, was cold and barren, save for furniture and fireflies. She wondered how the god could live in such a sullen atmosphere, with no one else but him. Then she remembered that he ruled over life and death, which meant he was used to everything and nothing at once._

_Like her previous visits, Ankhseram sat across of her with one knee propped up informally, while she sat in_ seiza _. For some reason, he didn't like being formal with her, while she had to be strictly formal with him. It was one of his customs—or perhaps his way of shaming her whenever they were talking. Whatever his thoughts were, she still did not know._

_"I see you are doing better than last time," he commented casually, picking up one of the dango sticks and sliding one ball into his mouth. He licked the syrup on his lips and offered her his share. "Bite?"_

_Lucy shook her head immediately and bowed slightly. "No, thank you."_

_He clicked his tongue and finished his stick, while she picked up the warm cup of tea and took a sip. The fireflies that clung to her kimono had somehow vanished, and all that was left were white flowers of where they last clung to the fabric._

_Ankhseram kept his gaze on her face, watching her every movement with cool, calculating eyes. His stare felt like a heavy weight on her shoulders, but she ignored it._

_"The flowers in my garden died today," he began, leaning his cheek against the palm of his hand. "I was hoping you could tell me why."_

_Lucy felt her palms sweating on her lap. "I suppose it is because there is no sunlight here, Ankhseram."_

_"I wonder who could give them light then," he pondered, sounding far too innocent for it to be a passing thought._

_She smiled nervously, daring to meet his eyes. "Do you wish for me to provide them starlight?"_

_He shrugged half-heartedly. "Not really. I do not care much for flowers," he stated, sighing. "Was simply trying to ask whether or not your magic is back at full."_

_"I don't know," she admitted, tucking in her chin._

_"I know, and it is rather blinding to be feeling it from you coming out in rays."_

_She looked at him, biting her tongue to prevent herself from talking back—why couldn't he just tell her that in the first place then?_

_Ankhseram hummed in amusement, lips quirking upwards. "You look frustrated," he observed._

_"I am not," she countered, forcing a smile on her face to prove her point. "Why am I here again, Ankhseram?"_

_An ivory butterfly fluttered in from the window and it perched on his shoulder. "How many times must I tell you that I do not permit visitors, so I cannot exactly tell you why," he pressed, brushing his fingers through his short, raven hair. "I just know I felt your presence by the door and—heavens curse me—I was far too curious to let you drift by. So I gave you a pass to the temple."_

_Lucy pursed her lips, forehead creasing. "So why do you keep letting me visit then?" she pushed. "Are you lonely?"_

_He leaned back and supported his weight by his hands, looking down at her. "A god is not permitted to feel lonely," Ankhseram answered, eyes blank. "However, I do think my conversations with you keep me entertained, so that must be why."_

_"I am not an entertainer."_

_A chuckle escaped his lips. "Nor am I one to be entertained, but it's befitting and it works to our advantage," he said slyly, tilting his head slightly to the side. "How does it feel? To be feeding more than yourself?"_

_"What do you mean?" Lucy asked with a frown, confused. Did he mean Zeref? Her spirits? Or something else entirely?_

_He lifted a brow in calm wonder. "You do not know?"_

_"Know what?"_

_Ankhseram smiled coyly, eyes darkening. "A child grows within you, spirit mage."_

She jolted upright, waking in a cold sweat. She panted heavily, her unbound hair clinging to her skin and the back of her nightgown soaked. She covered her face with her hands and sucked in a deep breath to calm down.

Like the previous nights, she gathered her wits and attempted to recall the dream. What did she and the man talk about this time? Her mind was noisy, like the flapping of ten million butterfly wings, and all she could recall was the blood-red obi and onyx eyes looking down at her—and that smile, that smile at the end once again. It murdered her.

She never did remember if he told her his name. Or if she told him hers. All she had were blind guesses that he was Ankhseram, but there was nothing to support her theory.

She buried her fingers in her hair and squeezed her eyes shut. But there was nothing. Not even a word left from their conversation or the smell of the room. Only the obi and his eyes. And that destructive smile.

夢

"Good, your stance is good," Brandish praised, circling Lucy as she tapped a thin stick against the inside of her knee. "Lower."

"Sorry," Lucy said sheepishly. She maintained her legs, which were spread apart and bent with her arms positioned in front of her. Maintaining the stance made her insides tremble with the effort. It was one of the easiest, but her body was not as strong as it used to be—plus the weather did not help much. The afternoon heat was beating at her skin relentlessly, droplets of sweat dripping from her chin and sliding down the nape of her neck.

Zeref decided that Lucy had to be physically fit just in case she was going to be included in the war. Additionally, she was also training to be up against Ankhseram, in case he ever played games with her. Rumors had it that gods enjoyed giving puzzles to anyone who dared to talk with them. Lucy supposed she wouldn't be an exception.

"Okay, let up."

A breath sharply left her lips as she straightened her legs and began rolling her shoulders. "Ah, that hurts," she moaned, wincing at the soreness of her joints.

"You've only done three," Brandish pointed out, arching a brow. "You have yet to do ten. Only _then_ do we move from the basics."

Lucy pressed her lips together and exhaled through her nose. "I understand," she murmured, wiping the sweat on her forehead.

The warrior waved a maid over and took a glass of water from her hands. "Here, we don't want you getting dehydrated," she said seriously, passing Lucy the glass.

She took the drink from her thankfully. "When do I begin training with my spirits?"

Brandish hummed thoughtfully, unconsciously shrinking and enlarging a piece of rock nearby. "With this pacing, I predict it will take you a month or so to be agile and physically strong without relying on your magic. It's best that you save up on that department when in war. Dimaria will teach you swordsmanship while Irene will be in charge of your spell lessons."

Lucy flinched. "Irene?"

"Oh, yeah," the warrior confirmed, smiling sadly. "She's the best we have, so his Majesty decided it would be best to make her your trainer. I'll be on guard though so you shouldn't worry about her."

It wasn't that, Lucy wanted to interject, but decided against it.

"Lucy," a familiar voice called out, making her sharply look behind to find the person she had been looking for all day.

"Spriggan!"

Zeref chuckled and walked over to where the two women were training. His usual robes were nowhere to be found, replaced by black slacks and a dark long-sleeved dress shirt. She found this to be odd but didn't question it. She liked the change after all.

"How's training?" he inquired, hands deep within his pockets.

The green-haired mage glanced sideways at her case. "She's… improving," she supplied, lip twitching. "Months of being bedridden has made her muscles weak and vulnerable to bruises, hence why we're taking it slow."

There was a huff. "I am trying, you know."

"I know." Brandish smiled.

A sense of contentment filled the dark mage, and he gave them a few more moments before he cleared his throat, disrupting their conversation. "May I have Lucy for the rest of the day? I have a few matters that I wish to discuss with her."

Brandish didn't wait a heartbeat to bow her head. "Of course, your Majesty." She straightened and faced Lucy. "I will see you tomorrow."

She nodded, smiling. "Okay, bye Bran!"

"Stop calling me that."

"Let's go," Lucy whispered in Zeref's ear, hooking her arm with his as she dragged him away from a complaining Brandish. She failed to catch her lover's amused stare.

They continued their peaceful stroll in the gardens, neither of them speaking. They both relished the peace that they rarely got to have, and with the war nearing the horizons and her bargain with Ankhseram less than nine months away, every second spent with each other was cherished and used wisely. They both seemed to be thinking the same thing as they entered the palace, heading for Lucy's room—it was the only place they could talk comfortably without anyone listening in. Well, other than his office, but that was far too formal.

Lucy knew she should somehow be afraid to be this close to Zeref—she still wasn't immune. Yet she couldn't help it. She missed the dark mage as much as she missed walking around. He was always so busy that despite being in the same building as him, chances of them colliding were slim.

The hallway ended into a turn and she knew that they were near. When they arrived at her room, he took the liberty of casting a spell so that no one else would be able to hear their conversation other than the occupants inside. Why he did that—she didn't know. She didn't question him either for she trusted him wholeheartedly.

A sigh grabbed her attention.

"What's wrong?"

Zeref was sprawled on her bed, shoes scattered on the floor and two of his buttons near the collar open. He covered his eyes with his forearm, chest rising and falling at a steady rhythm.

She smiled and sat on the edge of the bed, combing her fingers through his hair. She suddenly saw his mouth open, and he mouthed words that she couldn't understand. So she leaned a little closer, hoping to hear it clearer. But his whisper made her shudder.

"Don't do it."

She wasn't sure if she heard him right. "What?"

A hand latched onto her wrist and she squeaked as Zeref pulled her towards him. Strong arms embraced her, holding her tightly against his body. "Don't do it for me," he begged, his voice barely a whisper. "Don't bargain with Ankhseram."

Lucy felt something within her break and her eyes saddened at the sight of her lover. She shushed him, placing her ear against his chest to listen to his heartbeat. It was a fast-paced run, a sporadic thumping that just wouldn't cease. And she hated it. "I'm sorry," she whispered back. "But I need to do it—for us. We can't keep living this way…"

"It's dangerous," he insisted, almost growling.

"And so? Being with you was reckless enough, but I'm fine, aren't I?" she tried to prove herself. Lucy forgot how difficult it was to win in an argument against Zeref, but she wasn't going to back down this time. Not when it really mattered.

"You know that this and that are not the same."

"In terms of recklessness? I beg to differ."

Zeref leaned back a little so he could look into her eyes. "Lucy… I can't," he choked, blinking rapidly. "I—can't lose you."

She shook her head. "I'm not going anywhere," she reassured, giving him a peck on the lips. "Please believe in me."

Unresponsive, he simply cupped the nape of her neck and drew her in for a deep kiss, slowly tangling his fingers in her long, golden hair. She felt him nipping her lip and she held onto his shoulders. "Zere—ah," she gasped, unable to speak from his endless kissing.

"I'm sorry," Zeref mumbled against her lips, flipping them over so he was on top of her, his elbows on either side of her face. "I _do_ believe in you."

She smiled in relief, nodding. "Thank you."

He nodded in return and lowered his face to rest on the crook of her neck. "I missed you," he told her, his breath fanning her skin that sent a shiver down her spine. "Are you tired?"

"No," she quickly answered, back arching when he placed a gentle kiss on her collarbone. Heavens, her mind was going blank. "I-I'm okay."

A hand was idly making circles on her bare thigh, which reminded her that she was still in her training clothes. The other was still firmly planted on the bed, supporting his weight while he sent a trail of kisses down her neck to the dip of her top's neckline. He sucked a specifically tender spot just above her heartbeat, and she bit the inside of her cheek to silence her moan.

"It's okay," he murmured, going back up to capture her lips. "The room's sealed."

Lucy knew that. _But still_.

"I-It's dangerous," she yelped, covering her mouth afterwards. Zeref had just left another hickey on her neck, one that could not be so easily hidden from prying eyes. "Zeref!"

The said man chuckled, amused eyes flicking upwards to meet hers. "You'll be fine," he said, grinning when he saw the realization dawn on her face. He was playing with her, and he was enjoying it. "Right, my love?"

She whimpered, "H-How dare y-you…"

He placed his knee between her thighs to keep them from closing. "Can you keep up?" he questioned lazily, his voice low and husky, sending a wave of goosebumps over her skin. "Has months of being in bed made you this weak?"

"No," she groaned, face flushed pink.

She felt him smile against the inside of her thigh, and she closed her eyes, whimpering as he dragged his teeth over her skin. "Then keep up with me, Lucy," he taunted, eyes flashing as they were suddenly immersed in darkness.

Lucy found herself glowing and, with whatever strength she had left, rolled them over. She straddled his waist, hands gripping his shoulders for support. She looked down at him and dragged a dainty finger down the side of his face. She leaned forward to whisper in his ear, "Of course I can—do not belittle me."

He smiled cunningly. "That's my girl."

務

Zeref braced his forearms on the stone railing as he watched the rising sun from the distance, setting the sky alight with a palette of flames and lilacs. The freezing air bit into his skin but he paid it no mind. It was a comfort knowing that he could still feel pain—a reminder that he was still somehow human. Often times he'd feel the urge to subject himself to torture, simply to shake his spirit awake. A bad habit, he supposed. But one that he tried not to indulge in too much.

His beloved was what brought back the mortality in his soul. The woman was a breath of fresh air. Despite being an unexpected visitor on that faithful day at that wretched island, she ended up becoming something more to the dark mage than he would have let anyone be. It was against his principles but perhaps he could always break a few of his rules.

He was not just an immortal mage cursed to live his life alone anymore. Although plenty would oppose to that, having Lucy by his side was more than enough. He would sacrifice whatever he had to keep her safe and to assure her a bright future.

Gently, he inhaled, filling his lungs with air before exhaling through his mouth. Today was going to be rather hectic. He had a couple meetings with his warriors and he had paperwork to sign. August was also going to update him about their findings on the god, Ankhseram, and whether or not he was _actually_ someone the likes of them could contact. If not, then he would be pleased to save Lucy the risk.

After a few more minutes of delightful tranquility on the balcony, he decided that it would be best that he start his day earlier than usual.

He entered Lucy's bedroom and closed the door behind him, his stare immediately landing on his sleeping lover on the bed. She was clad in nothing beneath the pale blue sheets, yet she looked completely warm while she slept. It made him smile.

As much as it displeased him to leave all of a sudden, he didn't wish to wake her up. Her training yesterday with Brandish drained her. Added with their activity last night, he knew she deserved a long rest. He would have to tell the green-haired mage about the change of schedule, along with a placement of orders for a new set of training gear and clothes—he'd have Invel accomplish that task.

He wrote a quick note about his whereabouts and a reminder for Lucy to take her medicine. It wasn't much, but he hoped it could ease the hurt she'd feel from waking up without him beside her. He left the note by her bedside table and kissed her forehead before flickering away.

When he arrived in his chambers, he found his black robes prepared on the bed along with his white sash. He ruffled his hair, sighed, and began putting on the garments. It had a lot more layers than usual, which meant that he was in for one tiring day. Except Zeref Dragneel had gone through things far more tiring than meetings. Four hundred years was exhausting enough, after all.

He was in the middle of draping the sash over his shoulder when his brief but meaningful silence was interrupted by a series of footsteps.

"Your Majesty, permission to enter!"

His eyes narrowed. What was the commotion about? "You may enter."

Dimaria slammed the door open and saluted, breathless. "I'm afraid I have urgent news to tell you," she rushed, eyes set into a determined glint.

"What is it?" Zeref asked, frowning. His next words were swallowed as he felt that familiar surge of magic and all the color drained from his face. A bead of sweat slid down his temple.

The swordswoman swallowed thickly, eyebrows furrowed. "Fairy Tail was sighted on the way to our borders!"

It seemed to him that things were not going according to plan.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "That's what the world is, after all: an endless battle of contrasting memories." —Haruki Murakami

The morning was hazy, the silvery light hitting her skin from windows and her body heavy with sleep. As the beautiful, sleeping lady lay on her bed, the outside screamed of a battle and the taste of magic was a steady thrumming through the air, metallic and tangy.

From the balcony of the emperor, Zeref Dragneel surveyed the horizon with narrowed eyes. His gaze was soldering. On the shore, the ship of Fairy Tail docked and the world revolved slowly. The day went on obliviously, as he felt the pulsing of his brethren's magic through his very veins. The sky was a striking blue, empty save for the color of the sea, and before he could change his mind, he turned his back against it and walked away.

"Send Brandish after them," Zeref snapped, pinning his sash to his robes as he directed orders to Dimaria, his pace swift while he headed for his office. "Tell her she may only bring one other warrior with her."

"Yes, your Majesty."

The black mage clenched his jaw and fisted his hands in fury.

They were not getting anywhere near them. They were not going to separate her from him again.

He was going to make sure of that.

暗

She awoke to a soft chirping. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open and she froze, trapped inside a massive birdcage and surrounded by millions of butterflies and hibiscuses. Below was an endless swirl of nothing, darkness encircling as she stepped away from the edge, her breathing quick and sporadic.

She must be dreaming.

A low, chuckle caught her attention and she whirled her head around, nearly giving herself a whiplash as she found Ankhseram sitting casually on a hovering rock, legs crossed beneath him. "Awake, I see," he mused, jumping off to float in front of her where she could see him better. His eyes, carefully blank and void of emotions, met hers with ease. "Enjoy your little home?"

Lucy swallowed hard, sweat sliding down her temples. "A-Ankhseram, what have you done?"

"You will stay here, I suppose," he decided, hands moving to tuck themselves inside the sleeves of his haori. "Until I bore of you, your presence will be required in my garden."

She shuddered. "I can't," she cried, head dropping as she fisted her hands. She raised her eyes, ignoring the fear crawling down her spine. "Zeref—he _needs_ me."

"Ah, the stupid mage," Ankhseram sniffed, a pipe appearing in his fingers. He brought the lip to his mouth and inhaled deeply, blowing a cloud of smoke in her face. Ignoring her coughs, he continued, "I was wondering when you'd mention him during one of your visits. That little boy, he hasn't learned much, has he?"

Lucy waved a hand in front of her in an attempt to rid herself of the awful smoke. "He is not who he once was," she argued, glaring up at the god before her. What was she doing? She wondered when she had gotten dreadfully brave all of a sudden, standing up to the man who had the ability to curse her, possibly even kill her. Yet she couldn't back down or bite down her anger. She was seething— _angry little thing_ , she could feel fury boiling deep within her and she couldn't stop it.

Ankhseram lifted a cool brow, smiling in amusement. "Oh, _is_ he now?"

Lucy bit back a retort. This god in front of her was different—he screamed more of death than life, a huge contrast to the man she spent afternoons drinking tea with. She could see the resemblance, from his short hair and captivating eyes, down to the kimono he always wore. She had no doubt that it was him—it _felt_ like him. Still, this version was much more dangerous than before. Deadly, even.

A thunderous beat hammered at her chest.

"You _will_ bargain with me," she growled, an animalistic rage threatening to overflow her senses. But she couldn't stop even as he entered her cage, his face treacherously close to hers and his fingers painfully gripping her chin so she would not look away.

His smile was insanity itself. " _No one_ orders _me_ around, human."

"I am not like the rest," she fought back, mustering up all the courage she had as she hissed, "And you will find that it's either you _bargain_ with me or I _will_ spend the _rest_ of eternity with you, making your days miserable _until you go mad_."

暗

Zeref realized that he was shaking.

"Your Majesty!" Dimaria shouted, snapping him to reality as he almost lurched forward. "I…" she hesitated, eyes faltering before she schooled her face into the stony mask fit for the warrior she was. "I'm afraid that we have exhausted all our efforts to awaken the Lady."

He followed his guard through the familiar corridors. In that minute, he searched through his memories of spells, magic, curses, _anything_ to pull her out of her slumber. This wasn't the first time that he had caught her in a deep sleep. But this one was different. Her magic was never present, always somehow missing from the real world, as if she were someplace else.

A theory was itching to be addressed but he wouldn't—couldn't—admit it or accept it.

The corridor they were passing through darkened as he trembled, the beginning of a storm at the edge of his fingertips, awaiting to be released. It took a frustrating five minutes to get to Lucy, and by then, his anger had burned and burned, obvious by the ashen skin of the warrior behind him.

Fear. He had never known fear to be this stifling.

"Where is Irene?" he growled lowly, and when he received no response, bellowed, " _Where is she?_ "

Dimaria jerked into a salute. "Out with August, your Majesty. We do not know their exact location."

Something inside him broke.

"Get her here." And he didn't need to ask twice. Eventually, the warrior left him to his own devices, eyes dark and jaw clenched, magic hissing and aching. Everything was hurting. He looked at her and felt another wave of fury wash over but shoved it down with all his might. She was sleeping. She _looked_ alright, he thought to himself. There was no mark of pain on her lovely face and she was breathing evenly, the only clear sign that she was alive. But she wasn't _there_ either. He couldn't feel her there. Somehow, her magic was missing from her body and even though she was right in front of him at this very moment, he was staring at a corpse.

The rational side of him argued that this was most likely a god at work. He knew a curse when he saw one and this one was delicate— _new_ , even. This was not something he was familiar with. And that was what irritated him. Four hundred years of torture and yet he could do nothing but watch. And wait. And hope.

Zeref wanted to end the world.

It took him a moment of silence to laugh quietly to himself, almost sardonically. Blood filled his mouth as he bit his cheek, bringing him back and keeping him anchored to reality. Again Lucy was there, eyes closed and breathing – breathing but _not really_ – and he somewhat remembered that he was not one to back down. He had revived his brother once and he managed to live for four hundred years.

What was there to fear?

暗

The docks were destroyed and he was not surprised. He had anticipated Fairy Tail to be clever with their attacks with Mavis as their strategist, but he had seen this coming. So he gave them the little taste of victory he could offer. There was something beautiful about the red flames that lit the night sky from his viewpoint, carefully placed away from civilians' homes and shelters. He wanted to be grateful for their thoughtfulness, then he remembered Lucy and he was in anger once again.

A week had passed now since she was cursed. He was not even remotely certain if this _was_ a curse, but there was no other explanation for it. Her health did not seem to deteriorate even with the lack of nutrients. Although he made sure to place her under the sun in the mornings and wipe her skin with a washcloth during the nighttime, he had expected some kind of sign that she was decaying. Paler skin, perhaps. Skinnier wrists. But there were none of those.

He figured there was something keeping her alive despite being in his presence. Something other-worldly.

He studied the map in front of him. He had memorized Ishgar in his four hundred years of living but the action was therapeutic and he needed something to keep his mind busy. His eyes landed where Pergrande was crossed off. He had given strict orders to leave the country and its citizens untouched, some weak part of him admitting that he could not ruin the place that was so full of memories. Meanwhile, they had planned the war quite well. He was to remain in the palace and would be the last line of defense. It was unlikely that the fight would be brought to Vistarion when they had already planned to push their forces onto Fiore. An unfortunate event for its residents, but one he did not really want to worry about.

Zeref clasped his hands beneath his chin and sighed heavily. It was nearing that time again, and truthfully, he was in no mood to move from his seat. Yet some part of him wanted to go ahead and touch her because he was losing a little bit of himself day by day, so he ended up going anyway.

It took him a second to teleport into her room. As always, it was warm. He made sure it was kept that way as he didn't want her to shiver in her sleep. He also made sure that she changed clothes every day, because the Lucy he knew hated wearing the same set of clothes for more than twenty-four hours.

Zeref began by stripping her of her dress. Her skin was cold to the touch, like she had been playing in the snow, so he took his time to rub the damp washcloth on her skin. The water was hot, not close to scalding, but enough to make him want the same kind of treatment. He wiped her forehead and carefully brushed her bangs out of her eyes. Long lashes tickled his fingers as he swiped the cloth across her cheeks. He lingered on her lips, a little wistfully, before proceeding to the rest of her body.

He always took his time when washing her, like she was something fragile and thin, like a bubble that would pop if he handled her wrong. Zeref knew though that his Lucy was strong. She found him after all, despite the odds, and stayed with him even though he was dangerous.

She was his little Lucy, brave and courageous. She was _his_ light.

A sigh left his lips once he was finished. She was dressed in a pale lilac dress now, long enough to reach her legs and loose enough not to feel too tight on her. He drew the blanket over her chest and pressed a soft kiss on her temple. With gentle actions, he allowed his knuckles to caress her cheek before he finally stepped back, surveying his work, and vanished in a whirl of black wisps.

暗

"It seems that the border has been well-guarded."

Zeref read the contents of the scroll with veiled disinterest. "Continue," he ushered, waving a hand toward Invel.

Clearing his throat, the Winter General added, "Brandish and Dimaria have fixed the issue at the ports, while Ajeel has reconstructed the damage done in the west side of the Empire. Fairy Tail has not been sited near our waters for the past three weeks. However, with Neinhart stationed at the sea, it is possible that he is the reason why they have yet to attack."

"And Irene?" Zeref lifted a brow. "Where is she?"

Invel maintained his cool composure, adjusting his spectacles. "Still out with August, your Majesty."

Tapping his index finger on the mahogany desk, Zeref found himself swallowing a sigh. "I see," he remarked, "and what of the thing I asked you to do, Invel?"

Zeref received a deafening silence. His mouth twisted at the corner in frustration but he remained quiet. There was no point in all of this if she was still asleep, and if they couldn't do anything, then the fight was useless. Still, his warriors had always wanted power and glory. Fame was fickle and they wanted none of it—didn't matter if they lived in a world where they were the only ones left. This war was meant to accomplish just that, at least to a certain extent. They were aware that he wasn't in it without Lucy, and so they cooperated.

"We _are_ trying, your Majesty," the ice mage responded, albeit a little hesitant. "We have resorted to medical means, but she is in a deep sleep. I am beginning to think that this curse is far out of our league. August presented a theory that this might be the god of life and death at work, and with the level of difficulty that the curse holds, I don't doubt that it's possible."

Zeref had guessed that much, but his mind refused to wrap around that bit of information. Because if it was true, then it would mean that Lucy was in danger. He couldn't think like that. "Have you contacted Olivia, the innkeeper? She is a hundred-year-old mage, appearing as a young woman in her late twenties. She is an old healer and knows many curses, far more than what I have encountered. She should provide at least some information."

"She seems to be missing, your Majesty."

Zeref's eyes darkened. Of course the old hag would choose to disappear at this time. He remembered the look on her face when she saw him leaving Lucy's inn room. The look of surprise on her face had been fake, and she was most likely aware that he knew. Though he didn't understand why she'd taken the form of a woman when she preferred children, he supposed it attracted more customers and opportunities. It still didn't explain why she'd decided to let Lucy stick around. She hated company as much as the next person, and she valued her time and privacy. There must have been something she wanted from Lucy—or him—so much so that she was forced to stay.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. Of all the times, she had to go away when he needed her. She _really_ did know how to get on his nerves. "Just keep an eye out for her," he instructed Invel, pushing aside the scroll on his table and opening the next one. "She's bound to return."

"Yes, your Majesty."

Dismissing the warrior, he returned to his papers and finally released the sigh he'd been holding in. He suspected he was close to losing it. It was just about a month since Lucy refused to awaken, leaving him in a constant state of brooding and darkness. He wouldn't deny that he was less human and more of the evil mage he was with his current situation, but he was neither guilty nor prideful as well. Never mind that she would surely be upset with him if she found out. He'd just have to make sure that none of this reached her if—no, _when_ she wakes up.

She has to wake up, Zeref thought miserably. He didn't know what he'd do if she never woke up and he was already blaming himself for it. This was like Mavis all over again. He swore he'd never let that happen, especially to Lucy, but he had slipped somewhere. All his constant slip-ups were catching up to him at last, but he wished it didn't have to be now. Not when Lucy had to pay for it.

Zeref inclined his head and stared at the ceiling. Maybe it was time to meet up with Mavis. She might know something about this, but he felt like it wasn't the right thing to do.

When did he ever know what was right though? All his life he had done all the wrong things and considered them as appropriate. As long as his heart was in it, they could _never_ be wrong. He had a flawed mind—that much he knew—but he never let that stop him. Was Mavis the answer? He knew she resented him to some sort of extent, not as much as he deserved, but enough to make their meeting intolerable. What if she decided _not_ to help him? Or worse, what if she _did?_ How could he assure that she wouldn't turn on his back the moment he let his guard down?

Despite being the best of friends—and old lovers maybe—Mavis was the mother of his brother's guild. Unlike him, she _knew_ the difference between right and wrong. She was well aware that their friendship was not something that could stop her from fighting him if it meant protecting her family. So, what now? Would the risk be worth it? Would _Lucy_ approve?

He let out another sigh. This was all getting too much and he hadn't even begun planning the next course of action. He'd give Lucy another week. Two at most. If she didn't wake up by the second week of the next month, he'd just have to force the gods to let her go. And if _that_ failed as well, then he'd just have to end the world in return.

暗

She was beginning to wonder whether her sanity was still intact.

Seated inside her cage – _birdcage_ , her mind corrected automatically – she had done nothing but wait. She knew not to test her own patience but this was getting tedious. After all, there was nothing fun in spending hours and hours—maybe even weeks—in a garden with nothing but butterflies and silly flowers (namely, his damn hibiscuses) and having to sit through his daily self-righteous talks. It was insufferable. This was worse than when she had ventured out to look for Zeref. At least then, there were different sights to see and different people to meet. Here? She was stuck with an arrogant and childish god who did nothing but give her tea and dango.

Lucy exhaled, frowning. What was Zeref doing? She hoped he was alright. Knowing the man, he was probably looking for ways to get her back, but Lucy knew there was no point. Ankhseram wouldn't let her go. Plus, she wasn't ready to leave just yet. She _still_ had a bargain to make and she was going to get it, no matter the cost.

"You know, glaring at the flowers won't change my mind," a voice drawled lazily, grabbing her attention from the thoughts she was swimming in.

Lucy pursed her lips and picked up the steaming teacup in front of her, bringing the brim to her mouth for a long sip.

"Talk," the god ordered. He waved his hand languidly in some gesture that she couldn't quite understand, sitting midair with his legs crossed underneath him like always, a bored expression on his face.

She calmly took another sip.

His eye twitched. "What do you see in that foolish child, anyway?"

She knew he would ask, and if there was one thing she learned in his presence, it was to _never_ entertain his curiosity. He liked being fed information that mattered to the speaker. He gobbled them up like a pig and as much as she wanted to defend her lover or bring to light the reasons why she adored him so, Ankhseram would just have to wait.

And she liked annoying him. It was the only thing she could do that didn't require much energy.

On cue, the god released a deep, throaty groan of frustration. She smirked secretly to herself. _Bingo_.

"You really are not giving up, are you?" he muttered, lip curling in distaste. Gone was the cool and collected—terrifying, as the _legends_ claimed—god that had first let her in the temple. This was a new side of Ankhseram that she had never seen before and was glad for it. If he remained like he was before, calm and passive, she was sure she'd lose her nerves. He was intimidating that way. This version of him was simply infuriating—and fun to mess with.

Taking another long sip of her tea, she kept her eyes on the floating god. He had moved closer to the cage.

"I will not bargain with you," he repeated, lips stretching into a lazy smile. "If that's the only thing you want, then I guess you will have to spend the rest of eternity here in my garden."

Lucy barely reacted, but inside she felt her blood run cold. What was with gods wanting her to give up her whole life for them? She seemed to be attracting a lot of those lately. Though she was afraid, she couldn't seem to find it in her to simply surrender. Zeref had made her fearless, completely different from who she was nine years ago. Traveling with the black mage—and falling in love with him too—had given her a burst of courage and confidence that she didn't know she had.

Somehow, Ankhseram didn't scare her at all. What frightened her was the thought of not being able to do _anything_ for Zeref when he was trying to do _everything_ for her.

And the war, her mind whispered. She had to find a way to stop it. Knowing him, he would throw away the rest of the world if it meant finding her, and she didn't want that. The war was never meant to begin because of her. It was for Alvarez and its people. She needed to go back; she needed to be by his side once it began.

A bout of movement caught her eye and she ignored the butterfly that clung to her hair. "I would rather not, but thank you for the offer," she said at last, bringing the teacup to her lips. She hid a smug smile behind her hand at the ire evident on the god's face.

"You do not really have a choice, human," he quipped, brow lifting. "But suit yourself."

Lucy waited until he was completely gone, leaving her alone in a garden full of fluttering butterflies and dying flowers. It was only then did she allow herself to tremble, and everything ceased, submerging everything in pitch black, including her inside her little birdcage.

暗

The steady clicking of her heels echoed in the quiet halls of the north wing. Only a handful of servants rushed about, arms full of scrolls and unimaginable secrets, while the rest carried upon chores that kept the palace fit for its ruler. But as she ventured deeper, through twisted corridors and dimly lit hallways, fewer and fewer people passed until it was only she who graced the silence with her presence. Only then did she find her footsteps unnerving, quite unusual for a warrior of her caliber.

Must be the lack of sleep, she mused indifferently. After all, she had been patrolling the borders nonstop at the orders of her Emperor. Dimaria's presence was not wholly unwelcome, but there was a saturation point to everything – though Brandish liked to believe that she had unrelenting patience – and she might've finally reached hers. Being paired up with the intolerable woman, who not only enjoyed teasing her but delighted in her quick bursts of irritation, she had reached her limit. One could only bear the presence of Valkyrie for so long before losing their sanity.

At the very least, she would have to return to her station at the end of the day, or early tomorrow morning, but she had yet to receive a confirmation from his Majesty. Thus, finding herself with nothing to do but be crowded by her thoughts, her feet had unconsciously led her to the private quarters of she-who-was-not-to-be-named. Though Brandish would like to think otherwise, she couldn't deny the worry that continued to grip her heart as she neared her destination.

It was deathly still. Even more so than the halls she had passed just to get here, the last room in the north wing was surrounded by what seemed to be an endless void where nothing, not even the whisper of a draft through the open windows, could be heard. It was so tangible that she could almost feel it choking her, heart racing inside her ribcage with an emotion tight in her throat.

How the Lady could sleep in this kind of setting, she wondered. It was nothing like she had ever encountered before. Though there was a resemblance in the Emperor's presence, it wasn't entirely alike.

Frowning, Brandish hesitated by the door. The last news she had received was from Dimaria herself, claiming that there was nothing they could do to awaken the Lady. And yet, she found herself hoping, even _just_ a little, that all had gone well in her absence. That beyond this door was someone wide awake, with the aura of the sun, smiling and waiting for her to enter.

Well, she drawled mockingly to herself, she wouldn't find out unless she gathered her bearings and just went ahead now, would she?

Carefully, she turned the doorknob, not wanting to disrupt the eerie silence that dominated the place. She nudged it open, stepped inside, and shut it just as quietly behind her, breath hitched in anticipation. Or was it fear? She did not know.

As quickly as it had come, the small burst of hope inside her chest dissipated.

Brandish faltered, hesitating by the door as she felt the pounding warmth inside the room, quite a huge contrast to the rest of the palace with its chilling interior. But she moved forward anyway, heels clicking and fists clenching, toward the slumbering woman not too far away.

The warrior had always seen Lucy as some kind of superior. Although her pride would never let her say it out loud, Brandish held a soft spot for the blonde and she had earned a glimmer of respect for being unbelievably liquid—flexible—in everything that occurred around her. Lucy adapted well, that much she knew. And Brandish was well-aware that her Emperor did not choose his lovers lightly, as he never had one in the period she served him, and with all the goals he had in mind, distractions and partners seemed to be something that he did not bother indulging in.

Until Lucy. _Everything_ was different with the woman, or the Lady, as most of the Spriggan 12 liked to call her.

Lucy was, to be frank, a beacon of light in their ever-growing Empire. Quite odd, as most of her fellow warriors stated. They were not fond of anything too bright. Especially Irene, she abhorred most things bordering yellow and very nearly only accepted red, but even Brandish – though Dimaria would argue otherwise – could tell that the redhead had somewhat accepted Lucy into their family, and that was saying a lot. She was… a tough woman to get through.

And she wasn't the only one. There was Invel, who was too uptight for his own good and Bloodman (she shuddered at the thought) and if she was going to be honest, their team was not exactly the most accepting group. Most knew to steer clear of them, even herself, and she wasn't even that daunting to begin with. The only reason they were all together was because they served only one ruler, and that was Spriggan. Other than that, they could live well without one another.

Eventually there had been an unspoken mutual agreement that Lucy—tempting as it is—was not to be touched by anyone, including themselves. Brandish didn't need to be ordered by his Majesty to protect the Lady. No, it was of her own free will that she wanted to keep Lucy safe. She was her— _their_ —glimpse of heaven through the inferno they created.

So the crippling guilt that burned through her gut had meaning. Brandish couldn't help but let a flicker of regret pass over her face once she stopped at the foot of the bed. It was pointless to blame anyone, even herself, as none of them could have stopped it from happening. But it seemed like the right thing to do so that her mind ultimately began its course.

Brandish allowed herself to linger. Lucy's complexion was the same despite the open windows, indicating sunlight during noon and exposure to the harsh winds outside. She was there, and she wasn't. That was what puzzled the warrior so. She had heard from Dimaria that there was something amiss with the whole situation but didn't believe it until she had come to visit the Lady herself. Now that she had done that, she knew Dimaria hadn't been lying. Lucy was absent and yet present at the same time, something about her aura different and detached, making a shiver snake down her spine in discomfort.

She's cursed, Brandish realized then. Although most of the Spriggan 12 had been informed about the Lady's current situation, she and Dimaria were too occupied by the docks to keep up with the rest of them. They were always the last to receive orders and reports, often having to meet with the Emperor themselves to learn of anything or to disclose any information, and so not hearing about the curse was not all that surprising. It did nothing to ease the growing remorse in her stomach though. Rather than guilt, she felt hot with a familiar emotion she disliked dealing with.

Anger was not her best suit. She was more likely to be irritated than angry whenever she was upset, and that was because she found anger to be quite taxing. There was too much energy exerted on being furious and if there was one thing Brandish hated, it was wasting her time on senseless things. On the rare occasions that she _did_ get angry, she wound up enlarging everything minuscule and compressing all the large things in her vicinity. That, she discovered, was something she would not like to repeat again.

Now though…

Brandish swallowed the knot in her throat, shoving her wrath down. But try as she might, the uncomfortable fire that scorched her insides kept rising back up, leaving no room for air or for a moment to regain her composure.

With a sigh, she turned on her heel. Valkyrie might know what to do. She had a feeling she would only add more fuel to the fire than do good but Brandish thought it was worth a shot.

And—she added sullenly—she decided that she desperately needed a distraction and Dimaria, although infuriating, would serve good as a practice target.

暗

"Have you not gotten sick of drinking tea?" Ankhseram remarked drily one day, hovering just a few paces away from her birdcage with a scroll in his hand.

Quite contrary to the god's statement, Lucy enjoyed her tea. It was the only thing keeping her stable and calm when faced with such vexing events. And she found that if she talked to the butterflies right, they would do almost _anything_ for her. Turns out, they did not adore the god sheltering him as much as she did and desired a brighter place to live in.

"I assumed you liked tea," Lucy replied at last, ignoring the urge to lift a brow. Though she liked teasing the god, it wasn't in her best interests to do so, especially if she wanted to force him to bargain with her. One step at a time, her mind whispered. _One at a time_.

Ankhseram looked unamused. "That is not the point."

"Then what is?"

He looked even more annoyed, nose wrinkling with the accustomed look of ire. "You have not given up yet," he pointed out, scroll vanishing inside the sleeve of his kimono. "I am _not_ changing my mind, spirit mage."

Unconsciously, her hand drifted to her belly where she began to feel the soft indication of life within her. It had taken a while for her to notice, and after some meditating, she recalled that Ankhseram had already informed her last time at the temple and she had forgotten. Since then, she had taken great care of herself, even going as far as to stretching every once in a while to keep her body moving and healthy.

Whether the god noticed the small action or not, he didn't let on. "The rest of the world might have moved on as you slumber."

"It does not matter," she said with confidence, chin lifted in a semblance of the previous heiress she was. A small, sly smile graced her lips. "The world can rot for all I care, and if it means getting you to agree with _me_ ," she paused, eyes sliding shut, "then I don't mind at all."

Frowning, he inclined his head slightly to the side. "I see now why the dark mage chose you." He looked speculative. "Or perhaps you have spent too much time with him."

Lucy sipped her tea coolly. "Bargain with me, Ankhseram," she asked once again, the underlining bite in her tone not going unnoticed.

When she finally opened her eyes, she was alone and the garden thundered with his answer.

" _No_."

戦

Zeref surveyed the damage done with his very own eyes, arms crossed over his chest as the fire surged higher and higher, the heat so close he could feel it through the leather skin of his armor. He tossed a lazy look down below at the burning forest. It crept slowly, edging towards the border of Fiore with a roar.

He felt the presence of a familiar magic approach him.

"Why are you doing this?"

Not looking away from the flames, he answered quietly, "The world conspires against me," he looked up then, eyes meeting those of a past lover's, "and I will not let them."

Mavis' mouth tugged downwards, distraught twisting her lovely features. "This… you know you _only_ have _yourself_ to blame."

"True," he agreed, shrugging casually. "Although, I doubt you would understand. After all, you have never lost someone dear to you before, Mavis."

Surprise graced her face before it quickly morphed into a torrid ferocity, for once not looking like the child she was. "Speak _nothing_ of what you do not know, _Zeref_ ," she warned, eyes narrowing treacherously as every second passed.

"What a hypocritical answer." He sounded bored. "Then stop questioning my actions when you know nothing."

"This is different," she argued, fighting back with equal fervor. The fire beneath them raged on obliviously. " _I_ have done nothing wrong to compensate for my losses and for the cruelty this world has in store for me. Unlike _you_ , I do not throw this planet off its very own axis."

Zeref regarded her with a cool, calculating gaze. "Do you love me still, Mavis?"

His question caught her off-guard. The fairy tactician withdrew into herself, eyes widening as she was momentarily stunned by the warm blanket that encircled her. "What… I—what are you going on about now?"

"There is this girl," he continued, ignoring her question, "and I think I would die for her."

Something within her shattered. And suddenly, everything began to make sense.

"You… this war isn't about resetting time anymore, is it?" Mavis whispered, trembling.

Zeref smiled though it was far from kind. A hint of gentleness encompassed him as if he had known all along that their conversation would flow like this. It frustrated her to no end— _she_ , the _strategist_ , had not even thought of this possibly happening. And _why_ was that?

Some quiet, stubborn part of her held on tightly—too much—to the love that had blossomed between them many years ago.

Love became her weakness.

Mavis curled her fingers into small fists, refusing to give in to the sting behind her eyes and the dull ache in her chest. She held her head high. "And so what if this is over a girl? There is _no_ acceptable reason for war—you know that. Get your affairs straight, Zeref, before my family comes to ruin you once again." The words, though not her own, tasted vile on her tongue.

He appeared unfazed, waving his hand. "Fairies were always doomed to die of extinction anyway."

Mavis hissed, "We'll see about that."

Zeref smirked, and all at once, she unraveled. She had known that the time would come where she would no longer recognize him. They were always years apart and it seemed as if they were getting farther and farther as the world spun. It still never prepared her for this kind of pain.

For the first time since they had parted, Mavis accepted their separation and left with glassy eyes.

Zeref watched her go blankly. Truthfully, he hurt from their encounter, but he had made up his mind. The love he once felt for the strategist had stretched too thin for him to feel. Like all first loves, theirs would stay in his heart for a lifetime, but it was no longer the same. He had accepted long ago that he and Mavis were on the opposite ends of a spectrum and thus were too far away to function as a whole. With Lucy—it felt different. She was always there, despite being a blur in this vast world. She was—

She was what he needed to get by.

In a second, he had teleported back to Alvarez and found three of his warriors stood in front of his office. He jerked his head to follow him inside. There was the soft thud of the door closing as he walked to his desk and sat down, ankle propped on his knee. In front of him, his warriors lined up and saluted.

"Invel," he called first, nodding to signal the start of his report.

The Winter General cleared his throat. "We have an estimate of two hundred thousand soldiers from the desert, all under Dimaria, whilst we are currently transporting another two hundred thousand from the north. That makes up one million soldiers including our own, and there are more to come. If all goes according to plan, we should have about at least two million, if not more, soldiers to fight with. Our spies have detected no such abnormality from Ishgar except Fairy Tail moving on its own with their tactician."

Zeref expected as much. "And?"

"We have established training camps all throughout the forests of Alakitasia. There is a disturbance in the south, an old tribe that we had accidentally overlooked, but last I heard, Jacob has been taking care of it."

He eyed the scroll in front of him and the sheer amount of numbers they had accumulated. He had no doubt that his brother could handle them all. Fairy Tail was as unpredictable as their founder and he wanted to make sure all possibilities had been cut clean in case things turned for the worse. He waved his hand towards Wall Eehto.

His teeth stretched into a manic grin. "All the ordered supplies and weaponry have been made and will be delivered within the week, your Majesty. I forgot to inform you but my Machias have decided to lend their aid, and three hundred thousand of them will arrive next week. I have also personally trained those who will use my advance weapons and I assure you," his grin widened, "they are doing swell."

"I expected nothing less."

He bowed, smiling pleasantly. "I am honored, your Majesty."

Without waiting for his turn, Neinhart released a snort, rolling his eyes. "Quite a stuck up, aren't 'cha?" he mocked, ignoring the glare sent his way. "Do not fret, your Majesty, as the ships have already been rebuilt and restored."

"And what of the airship I asked?"

He winked. "Already painted and polished to perfection. They should be doing test runs by now, if my memory serves me right."

This time, even Invel rolled his eyes. Zeref, however, remained unruffled. "Alright. Everyone but Invel, you are dismissed."

The two warriors disappeared in a flash, leaving behind the ice mage in front of his Emperor. He spoke without hesitation, "August claims to have discovered a way to awaken the Lady."

Zeref stiffened, eyes widening as he paused midway from lifting his papers. He eyed Invel warily. "And what is it?"

"That, I was not told, your Majesty."

He nodded stiffly. "I see. When do they plan on returning?"

"Sometime next week, I believe," the warrior answered, sounding – for once – apologetic.

Too long, Zeref thought instantly. It was almost three months now since Lucy had been cursed and the war was barely beginning. He admitted he kept giving himself excuses and kept putting the war on hold, but he just couldn't help but hope. Nonetheless, he knew he had waited long enough and his conversation with Mavis proved that.

Deciding to clear his mind, he regarded Invel with a stoic face. "The border?"

"Well managed by Brandish and Dimaria."

"Good." He stacked his papers and handed it to the ice mage. "Make a second copy to keep in our archives. Afterward, send for Brandish and tell her that I need her to keep an eye on Lucy for me." He stood up and dusted himself off, quirking a brow when he caught the warrior staring.

"Do I make myself clear, Invel?"

The said man blinked, dropping into a bow. "Yes, your Majesty."

戦

The darkness inside the Lady's room was suffocating even for a dragon slayer like herself. But she breathed evenly, sitting on the edge of the bed as she lightly touched the woman's golden hair, strands slipping through her fingers and down the length of her arm. How annoying, the dragon thought bitterly. Such bright hair didn't suit her, though she found that she did not hate it as much.

With a sigh, Irene began to braid her long scarlet tresses. She had yet to announce her presence to the Emperor, deciding to head straight to the north wing to check on the damsel in distress. Strangely enough, there was an irritating needle stuck in her chest, making it hard for her to linger without having the urge to destroy something. And the longer she stayed, the stronger the urge. So, deciding on a distraction, she had unwound her hair and began braiding it back into the thick plaits over her shoulders.

While her hands busied themselves, her mind drifted to the discovery she and August uncovered. The memory uprooted the distaste in her stomach and she frowned, remembering the man's words.

" _There is no way to wake the Lady from the outside."_

Irene ran her tongue over her front teeth. How troublesome, she grumbled inwardly. To think that the old man would hand her the job of delivering the news to the Emperor. She was a proud woman—dragon—but even she admitted that she would rather not be at the receiving end of his Majesty's wrath. _Especially_ when the said man could take away everything he had given her, and she didn't want that.

She froze abruptly as her gaze snapped to the slumbering lady.

"Did you just…?" Irene trailed off, eyes narrowing suspiciously. For a moment, she had felt a spike of bright magic, almost scorching, and the only source was the spirit mage. It was a clear indication that Lucy was back so she had been surprised that it would have to happen on her visit. But then it was _strange_ , as it did _not really_ feel like the Lady's presence at all. It was… other-worldly.

A minute passed. Two—then nothing. Whatever she had felt before was now gone, and Irene feared that she had just done something wrong.

Ah, she inwardly sighed. She would just have to keep this a secret for now.

戦

The flurry of movement in the palace almost made his head ache. Granted, he had been thorough with his orders and it pleased him that everything was going well on their end. Still, he was in a sour mood, as Mavis had intercepted their attack well despite being heavily outnumbered. She lived up to her name well—how annoying. He did not doubt his warriors' abilities though, and knew for a fact that it was only a matter of time before the tides turned.

The wind was bitingly cold as it touched his skin, not entirely unwelcomed as he loosened his collar to allow more air to cool him. On the other hand, the sky was mockingly bright though covered with thick clumps of ivory and far off in the horizon, the color darkened to a dirty gray as the first sign of an incoming storm, shadowing over most of Ishgar in some cliché dramatic effect. He narrowed his eyes at the overall view.

"Is something wrong, your Majesty?" Invel pried lightly, nudging his spectacles up the bridge of his nose.

Zeref braced his arms on the railing and shook his head. "Nothing really," he said. "It's a little boring." To this, he earned no reply. He was quite thankful for that.

There was a small flash of lightning in the distance and he allowed the silence to wash over him. His Empire was huge—that much was obvious—but he did not feel right. He felt content but not happy and—was there _really_ much of a difference?

He reckoned it was because he hated being idle. Although it was planned for him to be the last line of defense in case things went south—which had a probability of close to zero—he had originally wanted to be on the frontlines, far away from his towering home where he could feel nothing but hatred and anger for being unable to do _anything_. Not even August could find a solution and he _always_ had one. Maybe he wasn't really bored but frustrated. And Zeref hated it.

"Has Irene come back yet?" he asked on a whim, since he didn't really know where else they could go wrong. God Serena had conquered the east, Ajeel and Wall covering the west and northwest respectively. Dimaria was taking her time with the south, and that was only because she was enjoying herself and Zeref knew she never finished things quickly. The southwest was left open, but they were in no hurry.

Invel looked through the paper in his hands. "Not yet, your Majesty." He hesitated. "Should I call for her?"

"No." Zeref inclined his head to the side. "We don't need her yet."

The Winter General bowed. "Understood."

戦

She _must_ be losing her mind.

"You seem to be at your limit, human," the god remarked amusedly, eyes twinkling with mirth as he sat not too far away from her birdcage.

Lucy refused to show any indication that she was, indeed, at her wit's end. As much as she prided herself on her patience, this was it. She was tired and desperate, knowing that the longer she stayed here in this _wretched_ garden, the greater the damage Zeref would cause on Ishgar. She didn't have the luxury to be sitting around, sipping tea, and talking to butterflies. She needed to _bargain_.

She thought of all the good things in the world. She remembered her mother's laugh during her first ever violin recital, how her face lit up like a tree on Christmas Eve; her father's voice whenever he read her bedtime stories before going to sleep. She tried to think about Sophie-san, the lovely grandmother who gave her the first and last Magical Vehicle she ever owned, and her witty remarks about Lucy being too old for such a young age. Then she was thinking about Zeref in his sleep, how unguarded he was whenever he was with her, completely unaware of the soft kisses she would place on his eyelids and his cheeks, gracing him with the love he had always deserved and more.

But then she found herself imagining Brandish, with the crosses in her hair and the ever-prominent frown on her pretty face. She remembered Dimaria arguing back and forth with the green-haired warrior, accompanying her during her bedridden state and filling up the room with their not-so-friendly banter. She thought of Olivia and the mornings they shared, of freshly brewed coffee and the best omelettes, accompanied by buttered buns and berries.

There was much more to enjoy in this world, Lucy thought peacefully, running the pad of her index finger across the brim of her cup. She could not afford being stuck in here when she could be out there beside all of the people who mattered most.

So with a deep breath, she finally asked, "Have you ever loved, Ankhseram?"

戦

There was something numbing about war. Although Brandish was one of the Spriggan 12, she loathed outright bloodshed and too much death. She was not bred for war nor was she ever a fan, but there were certain lines she had to cross and this was one of it.

She was stationed at Caelum, this time handling the backlash and dealing with soldiers that were injured and sent back for surgery. Even though she wasn't at the frontlines, she had a vague idea what the battlefield looked like. Dimaria had gone off enthusiastically, same as God Serena, and Irene was nowhere to be found. Invel was staying by his Majesty's side until ordered otherwise while the rest of their team were engaged in fights with Ishgarians. Though scattered, they worked effectively, reminding her just what Spriggan 12 truly was.

A resounding scream jerked her away from her thoughts and she resisted the urge to sigh. What a pain, she grumbled inwardly. A stretcher being hauled away caught her eye and she rushed to the soldier.

The two men carrying the wounded rushed to explain, "Two iron rods have been embedded from Redfox of Fairy Tail, Brandish-sama."

"I can see that," she deadpanned. "Is he the only one?"

"There are more! Approximately fifty on the way!"

Brandish cursed under her breath—that was too much to do in such a short time, but she refused to admit that she was weak. Nodding, she motioned her head to gently lay down the body inside one of the large tents that made up the main infirmary. There were other tents outside for delicate injuries, like that of a chopped-off arm or leg, or internal bleeding that would require extreme concentration and proper care.

Once the soldier had been put down, she quickly began her task. The two men saluted and ran back out to carry back more of their wounded. While she had gotten the two rods to shrink and a healer to tend to the open wounds, more had arrived, some with more iron beams stuck into them than the rest. She worked swiftly until it was almost a trance. The stench of copper was familiar and bitter in the pit of her stomach, the scent of antiseptic and cleaning materials accompanying her wherever she went, the sound of groans and moans of men and women in pain—it attacked her from all sides.

Despite the exhaustion seeping into her bones, she had managed to use the iron beams to secure the tent with enlarged poles, making makeshift tables and crutches for the injured. It wasn't much, but as she watched the people rushing in and out, she felt satisfied by her work and finally decided to head back out of the infirmary.

Brandish hopped onto a stone and made it taller until she could see all the way into Fiore. Their army, consisting of approximately two million and three hundred thousand men, soldiers from the Empire itself and some from their own squads, stretched as far as her eyes could see. They were a mass of black, almost like ink, advancing quickly onto their enemies. At one point, their army had branched off, fighting at different places, even in Crocus, as she could see other guilds aiding Fairy Tail.

Even from where she stood, Brandish could taste it clearly from the wind that ruffled her hair. Power. It was electric—or was that excitement?—and tangy, thrumming inside of her body like an uncontrollable machine. But she did not really want power. She was quite different from her family (if they could even be called one), often disagreeing with the rest of the warriors. Dimaria was easily the one she fought with the most and everyone knew that. Nevertheless, Brandish was loyal and true to her word. She would always follow the orders of her Emperor—it just didn't mean that she had to like it.

Was this what her comrades felt? She wondered whether this feeling was what drove the Spriggan 12 to fight in this war. They were powerful on their own, yet somehow they had all ended up serving one ruler. Brandish did not mind as much, but she thought the others disliked the idea of being under someone's authority such as Spriggan. She was very much surprised at how well they worked despite being so different from one another. They were, in a sense, invincible. They could break through any fortress and Brandish would not dare go against them.

Why want _more_ though? She did not really get the reasons behind this war for she never bothered asking. It was troublesome as it was and asking for details would only further complicate things. Now that she was beginning to understand her fellow warriors' views… curiosity couldn't help but poke her.

" _Brandish!"_ came the familiar voice of Dimaria inside her head.

The green-haired mage couldn't help but sigh. "What is it now?"

" _Backup is needed up southwest. You think you got some time to kill?"_

Brandish was resolute in her decision to stay at the Ishgar borders, far away from the action, where she could avoid getting any of her painted toenails from getting chipped. "They need me here," she said, eyeing the mass of trees up ahead. "And what's with backup? Who's stationed there, anyway?"

" _I wouldn't ask you to head over if there was someone there now, would I?"_ Her voice was incredibly laced with sarcasm. _"Oh, but I understand if you can't handle it. After all, little Brandish isn't exactly strong—"_

She shut her eyes painfully, shoving down the ire that boiled up her throat. "Give me a second." She tapped her foot, sending her back down to flat land as the stone beneath her returned to the earth. She snapped her fingers. "Marin."

The said man hurried to his Mistress' service, bowing lightly. "What can I do for you, Brandish-sama?"

"Take control while I'm gone," she instructed, glancing at him from the corner of her eye with warning. "If I get back and you mess up…"

Marin laughed nervously, saluting. "Everything will be fantastically in order, Brandish-sama! Leave it to me!" _Just you wait until I get to you, I will let you pay for all that you've done to me!_

Brandish, well aware of the lies beneath her partner's words, leaned forward until her face was inches away from the man, dangerously dark. "You _do not_ _want_ to be shrunk _again_ … do you, _Marin_?" she questioned impassively, cocking her head to the side in mock concern.

Marin swallowed. "N-No, Brandish-sama."

She straightened, looking down at him with an annoyed glint in her eye. "Good." With that being said, she turned her head towards where she would be heading. Not even a second into the said war and she already found herself becoming terribly cross, stuck between wanting to wait it out and not wanting to disobey direct orders. If it were up to her, she would rather watch over the slumbering Lady back at Vistarion.

With an exaggerated exhale, she blinked and was already on the battlefield, smack in the middle of a guild's full members and the remains of their small patch of warriors. She placed one fist on her hip, lip tugged into a frown.

"B-Brandish-sama!" one of the soldiers cried out, conjuring up a cheer from the rest of their army as she glanced over her shoulder and huffed. What a troublesome bunch, she thought to herself. Dimaria did not train them well enough.

"And who are you?"

Brandish directed her attention to the silver-haired male in front of her. She looked back at the group of them and ignored him, heel clicking as the ground began to shake.

"Wha—an earthquake?!"

Within moments, she was moving past them, staring straight ahead as the wind pushed her hair back. One by one, men and women fell to the ground, some shrinking and some falling dead to the dagger she held in her hand. All throughout, she was thinking that this was too much effort, especially when she loathed exerting too much energy, but work was work. A plan began to form in her head. She would get this over with as fast as possible and return to the border, at least until reinforcements arrived. She was not backup _per se_ —she knew that much—and was more likely asked to keep the southwest end quiet. The more land they conquered, the faster they could get to Magnolia. And the faster they ended Fairy Tail, the quicker they would finish this war.

It was all a deliberately formed strategy, well-thought by Invel and August themselves—with side remarks from Irene and God Serena, the insufferable lot.

" _How's it going over your end?"_

Brandish perked up at the sound of Dimaria's voice, once again interrupting her train of thought. "Just about done," she replied, whirling around to send a kick into a man's face, deciding to shrink him afterwards and toss him out into the forest for the vultures to pick on. "It's a small guild."

" _Well, Invel asked me to tell you that you're needed back at Caelum."_ She didn't even sound remorseful. _"I'm sending you—hey, you brats! Get your asses over here!—ah, where was I? Oh right. I'm sending you at least ten hundred warriors from my squad, think that's enough?"_

"I guess," Brandish said, shrugging. "I dealt with the majority but some are still running about. The mob will crush them. Anything else?"

" _Not that I know of. Now go and haul your ass back to the border before Invel gets your head."_

Brandish rolled her eyes, deciding not to reply. She dusted off the dirt on her coat and teleported back to the tents.

静

The north wing of the Grand Palace was calm save for the occasional hiss of a servant's skirts amongst each other and the light _tap-tap-tap_ of shoes on the carpet. Once it used to be full of movement, of people rushing about to tend to the ill lady, warriors paying visits, and bickering pairs gracing the halls. Now though, no one dared to speak, for fear of igniting the anger of their Emperor. No one dared to enter the room where the Lady lay, for there was no telling what could happen if they so set a foot inside.

Sometimes, _he_ would be there to take care of her. It was only during nighttime that they could breathe for he was there to give the north wing a little life. Ironic as it was, he was the only reason they could ever venture through the corridors passing through the Lady's quarters. They would have to be quick and quiet. Their Emperor was grieving and they did not dare ruin his only time with the fair-haired girl.

They pretended not to hear the aching whispers of their ruler, the wind bringing those words of hope and wishes for the well-being of his lover to brush against their skin, and on some days they would send a prayer to the gods to ease his agony. He was a good king, they would say. Please relieve his pain, they would pray.

But the Emperor never did stay too long. He never slept with her nor did he ever lay next to her. The servants would know—they _always_ knew. They looked through the creak in the doors and watched their Master quietly fall apart. They never lingered too long either, for their king was a strong mage, and their breaths would draw his attention. No one wanted to be at the receiving end of his anger.

They knew it was busy outside, so the Emperor's visits dwindled.

It was odd how terribly still everything was in the face of the war raging beyond the palace's walls. One could only feel the barrier surrounding the area if one would look closely enough, and even then, it would only seem like a figment of their imagination, something that could possibly be the effect of the eeriness of it all. They did not want to look anymore nor did they continue to hope. It was the fourth full moon since then. Four months since they last heard of laughter in these halls.

Suddenly, breaking through the dense thicket of silence, the Lady shuddered and gasped for air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are three kanjis in this part.
> 
> 暗 - dark  
> 戦 - war  
> 静 - quiet


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "She wasn't fine, not even close. But she wasn't dead. And that was a start."—Empire of Storms, Sarah J. Maas

The world stilled.

For the briefest of moments, time stopped. Warriors and civilians alike paused, gazing towards the oceans that had quieted, their waves reeling back as if hands had pressed them flat. The trees hushed their rustlings. The drifting winds disappearing into static. Magic withdrew like it had accidentally burned itself. Ice and water fell. Flames smothered into embers.

As one, the world fell silent at the breath blown across the horizons. At the god that glared down at the earth.

For in that fleeting second that stretched for what seemed to be an eternity, a new being walked the lands. And she had paid a terrible price to do so.

But fate would not grant her another wish.

Not this time.

起

She awoke with an urgency, jerking upright and gasping for air like a fish out of water. The blood in her veins felt cold and foreign—almost as if she had been submerged in ice for far too long—while the magic beneath her skin thrummed with newfound power. It threatened to overwhelm her, and soon enough, she found herself clutching her head as the world tilted.

A moan escaped her lips. Whatever this was, it wasn't here for mercy. It meant to bring her down.

The doors to her room were slammed open by an invisible force, and it was followed by the pounding of footfalls and ragged breathing. She did not need to look to know who her visitors were.

"Lucy!"

"Milady!"

She smiled a little, forehead creased with pain but still managing to look overall graceful. "Ah," she whispered, "hello."

Zeref shuddered like he was terrified wherein fact he wasn't. Yet he withdrew into himself as if he had been struck, refusing to believe what was laid out before him. Despite the yearning to approach her, he couldn't. His legs refused to budge from their position and his magic was lashing in unpredictable directions inside of him. He swallowed once, twice, before he managed to steady his heartbeat.

He met Lucy's eyes evenly.

"Leave us," he ordered his servants. The soft tapping of shoes filled the silence as the servants left, Invel trailing behind them and shutting the doors close.

Finally, they were alone.

"Hi," he breathed, licking his lips. "Are you…"

"I'm okay," she reassured him, her smile widening. "Come here."

He flinched, fists clenching. "I can't."

"Oh, love," she sighed and spread her arms wide. "Of course you can."

But she didn't understand. He was still the cursed mage and she was still _Lucy_. They were not any different. He could still kill her if he dared to approach and he did not, _would not_ , risk her health or safety ever again for his selfish wants. Even if he wanted more than anything to hold her in his arms and lay kisses on her skin. Even if he wanted to do more than that, he would not.

Something evil was building up inside of him and he gasped.

"Stay back," he warned her, feeling the rumbling inside his veins spread. "Lucy!"

He clutched his head, groaning when wave after wave of black miasma expanded around him. The curse rattled his very bones. Something inside him died more and more with every second that passed. What he failed to notice was the stillness of the woman before him—how his magic vanished at the touch of her presence.

When he came to, he was distinctly aware of being cradled against someone's chest.

起

It was in the wee hours of the morning when he felt it.

In the middle of fighting and planning, he was—what most would dare say—normal. _Well_ , as normal as a cursed immortal could get. For in those bits of moments squeezed in through bloodshed and manslaughter, he was simply a man in love. He was satisfied. And dare he say—he was happy at last.

The moon, though high above the palace, was absent to the human eye and blanketed by a sea of clouds. Thus, leaving the world in total darkness, broken apart by the rare appearance of dim lacrima-powered streetlights. It kept the room dark, so he could not really see anything, but he could feel her presence beside her. Strong. Unwavering. It was the only reassurance that he needed; the only reminder that this was real.

He found that he could not return to sleep. So he shut his eyes and relished the silence. It was not a dream, he reminded himself for the hundredth time. She had been saved from the curse. After four months of the dead quiet and the void that surrounded her bedroom, of months of self-pity and blood-curdling anger, she was back. _Different_ , maybe, but back nonetheless. With the force of a thousand suns, she felt brighter than ever.

He still didn't have answers. Though he supposed that was what happened when he had asked none at all and she had offered nothing but reprieve for the night. Still, the questions that crowded his mind were not his top priority. He didn't know why they needed to be asked. He was grateful enough for her return and he wasn't foolish to ask for more.

Zeref shifted over to his side, facing what he knew was his love.

 _Love_. What a foreign word. But he was sure it was what he felt for her. There was no other word that could explain the warmth he felt whenever she was near. For the first time in so long, he felt deserving. Of what, he didn't know, but that was she made him feel. He realized that it was odd how not even his conquests, immortality and glory brought him to peace. Nothing had made him feel right—only _this_.

Only Lucy.

And amidst his musings, he felt something sputter.

Startled, he jerked upright, propping himself up with an elbow as he surveyed Lucy's aura. He squinted his eyes. There was nothing off aside from the greater magic that lit her very core. But other than that, she was still the same. So he searched harder.

Then there it was.

A flicker so small, he would have missed it if not for its odd color and appearance. Black and white, rotating around each other. A stark contrast to Lucy's sun-colored magic.

It was barely bigger than the nail of his pinky. And yet he knew, with certainty, what it was. Who it was. What it meant.

And so he wept.

起

" _Have you ever loved, Ankhseram?"_

_Silence followed her inquiry. Although her tone was light, there was an underlying motive for it, evident only by the small twitch of her right ring finger. The garden was quiet. Even the usual fluttering and flapping of the butterflies had vanished. It made her antsy._

_Ankhseram hovered directly in front of her and cold onyx eyes bore into her soul. "I am many things, girl, but to be human is not one of them." His perfectly stoic face rippled with the barest hint of ire. "To love is to be weak."_

_The corner of her lips lifted slightly. She could tell bitterness when she saw one. "But you_ have _loved before, Ankhseram," she pointed out, amused._

_He ignored her, choosing to remain silent though it was painfully obvious that the old god was brooding._

_She couldn't help but smile even further. "Tell me all about her."_

_His enraged eyes snapped towards Lucy. "There is no_ her _."_

_She leaned back on her palms and watched the god thoughtfully. She wondered what kind of woman had bewitched the god of life and death. She must've been one hell of a goddess to do such a thing, and even more incredible if she had managed to endure his presence. But judging from the way he had reacted, she knew for a fact that whatever he had in the past had not ended well._

_When she blinked, she found herself back inside the temple, seated in front of the same low table that had separated them not long ago. Two steaming cups of tea were placed on top along with the usual plate of dango. Across her, Ankhseram looked annoyed. He sat in the way he always did on her visits: one knee propped up and the other slightly bent on the floor. This time, the smile on her face was of genuine understanding._

_She took one of the cups in both of her hands and it warmed the chill she hadn't known she was feeling. She sipped gently._

_The moment the cup touched the table once more, Ankhseram sighed. He looked even more irritated than before. Except now, she could see a hint of nostalgia and wistfulness in his normally blank gaze._

" _Her name was Izanami," he began, making a vague gesture with his hand to seemingly relay his story. "She is the goddess of creation and death, like I am, for we were meant to rule the heavens together." His brow furrowed. She pretended not to notice his use of past tense. "I do not know if what we had was love. Like I said earlier, gods are many things, but to be human is not one of them. Although we knew what love was—we watched humans every day and saw what it was and how it affected their lives—the feeling was simply foreign to us._

" _If Otohime and Inari were the prime examples of perfect goddesses, Izanami was their exact opposite. She was a handful, her reputation reaching even the lowest gods and goddesses, how she had slipped a sleeping spell in My_ _ō_ _ken's meal and drew on his face afterwards." His voice was light, and she imagined him laughing when he had heard of the incident. "Otohime and Inari were ruthless in their rule over their sovereign, and would usually team up to catch Izanami in her acts of mischief."_

_Ankhseram paused to swallow, and he looked completely lost in a sea of memories, a thin film over his inky irises. He continued, "When My_ _ō_ _ken arranged for us to rule over Earthland together, I was enraged. I was fine with anyone as long as it was not her. To make matters worse, this infamous goddess, whose tales had reached even the lowest depths of the oceans, had not heard even a single breath of me—not even my name. I wanted to change her, to show her who owned her and to teach her how to rule._

" _And, as if our Creator had spited me, I had become entranced. No—bewitched is a more fitting term. We became partners in the name of trouble. Where she created havoc, I followed. I do not know. Something felt strange inside me whenever we mocked those above us, and beyond whatever mayhem we caused, I had grown to be fond of her."_

_Ankhseram's eyes cleared and they met Lucy's evenly, a deep, forgotten sadness found within them. "You have to understand that I still do not know whether that was love. For one thing, we had never been intimate. She had only hugged me on rare occasions, and I had only been able to kiss her on the back of her hand—that was as far as she knew. Sometimes, when she was sleeping to cure her boredom, I would kiss her on the brow and it was all I could ever do."_

_She cleared her throat, apologizing quietly for interrupting and then asked, "Were gods not… I don't know." She felt as uncomfortable as he looked. "Did you not get intimate with others?"_

_He chuckled. "Oh, we did. In fact, Okuninushi was well known for his carnal desires. He bedded a different woman every night and they were all mortals. Only once did he bed a goddess, a newborn deity named Akai, and she had burned all of his clothes off in resentment once she had heard of his reputation. After that, he stuck to the mortals." He cupped his chin thoughtfully. "Last I heard though, he was courting Suseri and was facing the wrath of her father."_

_Lucy laughed lightly. "I don't know about you, but gods and goddesses seem human to me."_

_Ankhseram curled his lip at her. "Do not even compare us to your ilk, girl," he threatened, narrowing his eyes at her. When he saw that she was unaffected, he sighed, waving away his ire. "Returning to the main point of this tale of mine—I had finally accepted Izanami as my equal. She balanced me out, and I was ready for the ceremony. Only I… I had not known that she was feeling differently."_

" _Oh no," she breathed, and he smirked._

" _Oh no indeed," he echoed, chuckling forlornly. "However, first you must understand the rules of our world. Though I am the god of life and death, I am not the_ only _god. When the position is of high power, it is usually the strongest god who gets it. Some are lucky, like Otohime. She had no competition when the position opened up and so it was given to her._

" _Unfortunately for others, they have plenty of rivals, and once they have lost, they will be given the choice to become either a minor god or to turn into familiars."_

_Lucy frowned. "That's a little sad… don't they get another chance?"_

_Ankhseram shook his head and swiped a dango off the stick with his teeth, chewing soundly. "If they are lucky, they can rule other territories. Edolas is one of them."_

" _They are truly a different world, huh. I've heard about it from Zeref only once."_

" _It is quite dull compared to yours. They have no magic, but the world itself is much more beautiful." He licked the syrup off his fingers. The action was so silly that for a moment, she thought of the life growing inside her womb, to which he noticed and promptly stopped his childish actions._

_Leaning back on his palms, he continued, "Izanagi was one of the many rivals I had, but he was fresh from the Creator—quite popular with the goddesses, that one—and had not much experience on how to rule. So he was not high among the list compared to, let us say, this guy named Ryuuji. That one was tough._

" _Anyway, he was not that special. But he had the potential that many of the other gods did not have, so I was wary of him," Ankhseram paused and drew in a slow steadying breath. She wanted to reach across the table and squeeze his knee for comfort but—knowing the god—he would only get mad at her for doing so. She kept her hands pressed against her thighs._

" _On the day of the marriage ceremony, Izanagi came to sit on the front seats. And he had not really done anything. No, he was there to attend. But when it was Izanami's turn to deliver her rites, she had gone quiet." His voice dropped to a mere whisper, his face haunted. "There was this sinking feeling in my chest when she held my hands, kissed my cheeks, and murmured an apology in my ear. On that same day, on the very altar where we were meant to be united, she announced that she was carrying the child of Izanagi."_

_Lucy's breath caught in her throat and she froze, staring wide-eyed at the terrifyingly lonely god of life and death, her heart heavy._

" _So you see, spirit mage, I am unaware if I have ever loved," he concluded, leaning his cheek against the palm of his hand. "But anger is the emotion I am most acquainted with, followed closely by pain and lastly—by betrayal."_

起

The battlefield was gruesome like the taste of his magic on her tongue.

It was unfamiliar. Brighter. Hotter. Yet it made itself at home inside her very bloodstream, tingling with the aftermath of a burn. It was odd, she realized, how easy it was to manipulate the foreign magic inside of her as if she had always been born with it. Even odder how it did not really fall far from her original magic. But despite the resemblance, it felt wrong. Alien. Somewhat violating. She wondered if this was what Zeref felt like for four hundred years—if this was the consequence he paid for trying to revive his beloved brother.

A blast of wind met her wall of white magic, the force of the clash whipping her golden hair back and away from her face. It made her grit her teeth. She clenched her fists and swiped an open palm to the right, delivering a soul-crushing blow to the center of the mass.

Shouts and screams filled her ears. She felt genuinely sorry for them. Though even if she wished she could be at the other side of the war, she would remain at this side for eternity. There were things she had come to understand at some point in her state of sleep that gave birth to whoever she was now. And some of those things weren't entirely morally acceptable. Some could be. Some were. Nevertheless, she was reborn, if she had to put a name to it.

This time, she was truly _just_ Lucy. The lover of the strongest mage of all time. Soon-to-be mother of who could possibly become even stronger than his or her father.

She was not afraid of the unforeseeable future.

But she _was_ afraid. Of who she had become. Of the unknown price she had to pay to arrive at this point. She hoped it would not be too great. But she knew that to hope so was futile.

Her attack was retaliated by a barrage of earth magic, slab after slab of hardened soil erupting in a crescendo toward her, surrounding her from all angles and casting a long shadow over her still form. She breathed an apology for what seemed to be the hundredth time.

The supposed cage shattered with a blast of magic, radiating from her body like rays of light, piercing through the soil without hindrance as if it was nothing but a flimsy piece of paper. When the unearthed ground came crashing down, so did bodies. Many, many bodies. Buried alive beneath the soil. Separating the mages as they scrambled away from the chaos.

When the rumbling stopped and the field was quiet, she sent her magic into the ground from her feet. Hundreds of flowers and leaves and trees sprouted from where the bodies had died, vines crawling over the ground and up tree trunks, petals stretching towards the sky.

The aftermath of her magic tasted like burnt toast on her tongue. One that she could never wash away, no matter how much juice she tried to drink.

She stepped away from the battlefield and found herself back at the palace, surrounded by the darkness of the halls and the quiet of the walls. She sighed and laid a hand on her stomach. Felt the life growing inside of her.

She smiled warmly when another hand covered hers, and she did not need to look to find out who it was.

As one, their magic erupted like oblivion. And at once, it vanished like a snuffed out flame.

火

"Zeref!" Natsu yelled in fury, eyes filled with rage, staring at his brother that stood in front of Lucy. "Why are you doing this?!"

Lucy glanced at her lover and saw him smile sadly. "My soldiers wish for glory."

"That's stupid!" The ice mage barked back. He stood behind Natsu with a woman, one who was water itself. Lucy noticed the intimacy by the distance of their bodies.

"You aren't completely wrong," she said at last. She felt the attention of more than a dozen mages snap towards her and she resisted the urge to hide—she was no longer that girl. "But understand this: our family is like yours. We have our own stories to tell, people to protect, and we will stop at nothing to do that. What makes us different from each other is that we do not belong here. We were born with the fate to be shunned, to be feared, to be given the power that could rival the gods and be cursed for it."

She felt Zeref reach for her hand and squeeze gently. She squeezed back. "They want a place in this world. They want more land for their families, to control the very people who had cursed them for being so different in the first place."

"Why this way?" the redhead asked quietly like she understood where they were coming from. "Can it not be done peacefully?"

Zeref frowned. "You are naïve. The world isn't as bright as you think it to be."

"But it is!" Natsu growled, taking a step forward. So did Zeref. "You can just try to be nice! To atone! I don't know… Just not this!"

The older brother chuckled. "You speak as if you know exactly who you are and what life entails, Natsu."

"That's because I do!"

"No, you don't." Zeref's eyes turned cold, his smile disappearing behind the mask of a cold emperor.

Lucy felt a chill walk down her spine.

"Do you even know who you are, Natsu?" he began slowly, like a predator aiming for the kill, stalking its prey that remained oblivious to its threat.

Natsu scoffed. "What kind of question is that? Of course I do!"

"Really?" Zeref drawled, brow arching. "You know where you came from?"

Lucy saw the confidence in Natsu's eyes waver ever so slightly, beginning to unravel at the seams.

"Who your parents were?"

Zeref took one step forward. Natsu stepped back.

"Where you were born?"

One step forward. Another step back.

"If you had any siblings? A sister, maybe?" His voice was cruel. "A brother?"

Natsu fought back even though he was inching further away from Zeref. "What does that have to do with anything?" He argued, teeth baring with the intention of biting back. "Even if I knew, it wouldn't change anything!"

Lucy felt pity for him then. Pity for how much he did not know. For the lie he had been forced to live all his life.

Zeref was not so merciful. "Oh, it changes things, Natsu," he told him, smiling coldly. "It changes everything."

And it would.

"Because, Natsu…" he trailed off, and in an instant he was upon his brother, eyes boring into him.

"I am your brother."

火

First, there was disbelief.

The silence that washed over the crowd of both enemies and allies alike was deafening. Almost as if a fire had been doused by water and there was only steam and smoke, suffocating and hazy. Lucy wondered who would re-ignite the extinguished flame.

"Y-You must be joking." It was the ice mage that spoke, for Natsu was frozen in place, held captive by the chilling stare of the strongest mage in all of Earthland. "H-He can't possibly be…"

Zeref cocked his head to the side. "Ever wondered why you couldn't ever cross some runes?" he questioned, his tone light and innocent though he was far from it. "Why your memories first start in front of a dragon, and not at home?"

"He was too young!" another mage shouted. "Of course he wouldn't remember."

He ignored them. "Where did the dragons go, Natsu?" He smiled listlessly. "Did they truly vanish?"

The ground cracked with the force of his magic. "Or perhaps… did you?"

Natsu finally snapped out of it, whirling around to look at Zeref; to see the truth for himself. "Cut the crap!"

"In reality, Natsu, it was not the dragons that vanished on the seventh of July." The anticipation could be felt through the air.

"It was you." Zeref felt Lucy reach for him through their link. He ignored her. "You and the other dragon slayers. I, along with the help of another mage, had you and the rest of the slayers teleported four hundred years into the future, on the seventh of July, year X777."

Somewhere in the crowd, there were gasps and shouts of protest. Someone was crying. People were shocked to the core and certain lives were changed forever.

Lucy vanished and reappeared beside her lover, laying a gentle hand on Natsu's shoulder. She whispered low enough for only him and the other dragon slayers to hear, "I'm sorry." She pressed her lips into a tight line. "When you were young, you died along with your parents because of a dragon that attacked your town. Because of grief, Zeref…" she paused, swallowing once, "your brother studied the dark arts so he could—so that he could revive you."

"But you weren't really revived, no," Zeref cut in with a tired tone. "You were reborn into something purely of _my_ creation."

Lucy allowed him this chance to speak the tale, settling for squeezing her lover's shoulder.

"You are the strongest demon I had ever created," Zeref said without hesitation. He sounded bitter. "You are E.N.D., Etherious Natsu Dragneel, whose sole purpose in life is to kill me, your creator."

The quiet was so loud that Lucy felt the need to cover her ears.

"Well, Natsu?" Zeref taunted, tilting his head back. "Does it still not change anything?"

Natsu stumbled away from them and screamed.

火

Then there was denial.

Lucy willed down the urge to step in front of her lover. Natsu breathed heavily, wide eyes cast on the ground as if he was attempting to be swallowed whole. She could almost hear his heartbeat.

"No," he whispered, his voice trembling. "No, no, no, no, no!"

Zeref asked quietly, "Do you hate the idea?"

"Bullshit!" Natsu cried, falling to his knees. "I'm—I'm Natsu Dragneel, and my only father is Igneel."

Lucy stiffened. "Natsu—"

"I don't—I have no other family but Fairy Tail!"

She felt her lover's magic tremble and she acted without thinking—in moments, before the first tendrils of ink left the veins of her beloved, when the ground began to shake, she turned to face Zeref's brother. An apology struggled to rein free at the back of her throat. Heat crept down the length of her spine.

With a breath, she burned like the sun and their enemies fled from her rays.

火

When Natsu came to, he was cradled against the chest of someone warm and unfamiliar. He opened his eyes to the sight of glowing skin, framed by the darkness of the evening sky that was blanketed by a sea of clouds. Strands of gold blew gently with the wind.

"Don't worry," she assured him, a ghost of a smile on her lips. "You're dreaming."

"Who are you?"

She allowed him to sit up before she spoke again, eyeing him calculatingly. "You don't remember?" she said, bemused. "Well, it was seven years ago. I don't blame you."

It was impossible, he thought to himself, for him to forget someone he had met before. He remembered every person's smell. However, nothing in this world—or dream—smelled of anything. He narrowed his onyx eyes, squinting to see her better but everything was hazy, like something was covering his vision.

"Luigi?"

She couldn't help but laugh. "Close enough." The mist in his eyes cleared up. "It's Lucy."

Suddenly, he was back in Tenrou Island, seven years into the past and they were both standing on the exact same place where the brothers first met after four hundred years. He was sent spiraling down into a pit of forgotten memories. Of the house. Of his parents. Of his supposed brother taking care of him under the heat of the afternoon.

Then there was the aftermath. He was no longer human. The world was no longer black and white but many shades of gray. He saw Igneel and another woman—who looked exactly like Lucy but not quite— talking to him and handing him a scarf. A blink later and they were no longer anywhere to be found.

He looked up and found himself back in the forest where he woke up to find Igneel gone.

"Why are you with him?" was the first thing he asked. He didn't know why. There were other more pressing matters to ask this woman about, but he had to know. Zeref was—his brother was…

"Your brother is not as bad as you think he is, Natsu."

He went deathly still. "How so?"

And so she told him the story of how a brave girl, whose sole purpose was to find a way to make her mother live, was saved by a lonely boy that was lost in the sea of time.

神

" _What happened to them?" Lucy quietly asked, for once wary of the brooding god before her. She hoped she was playing her cards right. "If you're our god of life and death… what about Izanagi and Izanami? And who's—who ended up being your partner?"_

_Ankhseram craned his neck sideways and there was a loud pop. "Izanagi and Izanami ended up ruling some mortal realm after its previous god of creation was banished for committing a grave crime," he explained, shrugging and pretending to act nonchalant. "As for me, I do not need anyone to rule with. I can do well on my own."_

_Lucy couldn't help but lift a brow. "And that is evident by…?"_

" _Are you not thriving?" the god argued, glaring at her. "All was well until that_ brat _appeared." He sniffed. "He is the only mistake in this world."_

_She bristled. "Don't say that."_

" _It is the truth."_

" _Well,_ maybe _if you had a goddess to help govern over your land, your people would have understood the concept of life and death better," Lucy snapped, close to hissing._

_Ankhseram's nose wrinkled with ire and he narrowed his eyes at her. "Watch your words, human. You are still in my home. I can do whatever I please with you and no one will ever know."_

_She crossed her arms over her chest and glared even harder, all feelings of sympathy and understanding seared to ashes, leaving behind only determination. "I pity you, Ankhseram," she told him, "you have loved and was left at the altar, in exchange for what? A world to rule, sure, but in the end, it's Izanagi that has a goddess to depend on and to be depended on. And you?"_

_The words burned in her throat but she didn't stop even for a second._

" _You are the remains of a love that never was."_

神

It was anger that he felt the most. Anger for the family he had lost because of a past he could not escape. Anger for being fed a lie his whole life. Anger at the world for being what it was—for giving his brother eternal misery when all he ever wanted was to have his family back.

Fire clashed against ebony wisps. Natsu struggled under the weight of Zeref's magic. If his sole purpose in life was to kill his creator, then why was he so weak? Why was Zeref pushing him back, and why were his friends falling to the ground at Lucy's feet? He wanted to know what the world wanted. Were they merely playthings for the gods to alleviate their boredom? Was he meant to suffer for the crime his brother committed?

He wanted to know.

"I'm sorry, Natsu," Zeref said quietly, his eyes sad. "I wasn't able to protect you."

Red and orange flames licked along Natsu's fingertips, fist connecting to his brother's jaw. The force made his arm tingle, all the way to his shoulder and up to his very soul. He swallowed hard. "You killed Gray's teacher."

"I'm sorry."

"You killed so many people." Natsu struggled to breathe. "Because of you, Erza and Jellal were enslaved by your worshippers. Children died because of you!"

Zeref kept dodging though he wanted nothing more than to be hit. Unfortunately, years of fighting left him on autopilot, and his body involuntarily avoided all of his brother's attacks. He hated it. "I didn't mean for all of that to happen, Natsu," he tried to explain. He wanted to be understood. "I'm sorry."

But Natsu was having none of it. "You turned me into a demon!" he shrieked, and he hadn't realized how much it hurt to finally say it out loud. To accept who he truly was. "You deserve _nothing_! Not your worshipers. Not your soldiers." He pointed to the golden-haired maiden that made flowers bloom from death. "Not even _her_!"

It was Lucy that caught his second punch. "Natsu!" she reprimanded, eyes ablaze with fury. "He did not want to be glorified."

"And _I_ did not want this!" Wide chocolate eyes met the gaze of someone who was becoming lost. "I did not—I… I just want to be me."

And Lucy did not know what to tell him then. She pursed her lips and turned to her lover.

Zeref's lip was bleeding. He had never looked so torn before, not even when they first met at Lucia. And it saddened her how human he looked. How young. Gone was the four-hundred year old mage that was feared by the world. What could only be found was a lonely boy in the middle of a war he had started in pursuit of happiness, to fulfill the wishes of the people who accepted him, and to live a life that would be bare of pain. Caught in the mess he had created a long, long time ago.

Lucy understood it all the moment she had woken up from her slumber. It was not easy to be Zeref. He had loved his brother dearly. Hence why he had attempted to bring him back from the dead no matter the cost, not knowing that it would be this—to face his brother after centuries and to be denied happiness from the one person that had been the reason for it all.

The gods were cruel. She hated that the heavens could look down upon them all and judge them when they were simply born to survive. Lucy wanted to rest from all the fighting. She wanted her beloved to finally laugh without worrying about tomorrow. She wanted time to reset, and that was why she understood him. She could read his mind. His thoughts circulated around the 'what ifs'. The probability of joy if he had done things differently. If he had dragged his family out of the town before the dragon attacked. If he had insisted on living a life without his brother.

But she also knew that if he had done so, they would have never met, and she would have never saved her mother. She would be all alone with a cold father and a big house, left to wander the world with other mages in hopes of forgetting the pain.

Lucy smiled at Zeref sadly. "You are still you, Natsu," she said without looking at the dragon slayer. She held her lover's gaze evenly. "And your brother is still the strongest mage of all time." She reached for his hand and squeezed it tightly. "Whoever we are—it won't change. Even after all that's happened. Even when you're not really who you thought you were—it doesn't change who you are."

"Lucy?" Zeref murmured, confused and at the same time proud. Her eyes twinkled with delight.

"So fight for your family," she continued on, turning to face Natsu at last, "and we will fight for ours."

The silence that followed after was interrupted swiftly by the rush of their magic, both dark and light alike, as it swallowed the crowd in a dreamless sleep.

神

A month and a half later, they were finally getting sick of it all.

"The west's all clear," Lucy said by way of greeting, shutting the door behind her and shrugging off her cloak. She hung it on the rack before she headed to the closet for a change of clothes.

The war was longer than they had originally planned. And Lucy kept telling him this, how it wouldn't be wise to keep the countries fighting when they no longer needed to continue with this charade. Not only were they wasting their manpower, they were also running out of land. All of it was being replaced by the plants that bloomed out of Lucy's magic, and soon enough, they would need to work on rebuilding the majority of Ishgar.

Though Fairy Tail had not shown themselves since the incident, their soldiers were anxious. She could not really blame them. Even she was wary of Ishgar mages, and they especially had to look out for one called Natsu Dragneel.

Lucy seated herself at the edge of their bed, taking off her shoes and massaging the soles of her feet. She groaned at the relief.

"We've been debating about it for a few days now," Zeref spoke up from his spot, propped up against the headrest. An open book laid on his lap. "The vote to stop the war ended with seven to five in favor of achieving victory."

She sighed and felt the need to rub her temples. "Let me guess, Irene led the campaign?"

"Not really a campaign but…" there was a hint of laughter in his voice, "yes, she did."

"I don't think winning the war will matter at this point though."

He fell silent.

"I mean no offense."

"No, you're right," Zeref assured, shaking his head to dismiss her incoming apology. She pouted slightly. He chuckled. "It's one of the points I raised earlier. Many of the countries in Ishgar are already willing to surrender and to be under our rule. The only problem is that most of these countries are mage-less. The Spriggan 12 want Fiore and Pergrande."

Lucy's eyes widened in surprise. "Pergrande hasn't surrendered yet?"

"More like, we haven't paid them a visit yet," Zeref replied. "I haven't had the time to and I won't allow you to go alone."

She couldn't help but roll her eyes. "I'm not going to pop any time soon, love."

"You're seven months along."

"And he's not growing until I allow it. I'm keeping him in there unless I say so otherwise."

He looked amused. "You're like Irene."

"Bran said that too." She crawled over to snuggle against Zeref, smiling contentedly. "So it's true then? She has a child?"

He nodded absentmindedly, turning half of his attention back to his book. "Yes. Although, I'm not sure if she knows where she is."

"Erza Scarlet has a striking resemblance to Irene," Lucy told him excitedly. "You think…?"

Zeref glanced at her sideways and smiled. "She is, but I don't think Irene knows it yet. Or she could be refusing to face her past. Technically, Scarlet is four centuries old. Irene defied time itself just by having her in her womb."

"Sounds complicated."

"Nothing in the Spriggan 12 isn't."

Lucy laughed in agreement and sighed contentedly. Placing a soft kiss on the crown of her head, Zeref wrapped an arm around her shoulders and asked, "How about we pay a visit to our favorite rulers?"

神

_Ankhseram's eyes alone could bring her to death's door._

_Lucy swallowed thickly, sweat sliding down the side of her face though the inside of the temple was bitingly cold. She did her best not to look away._

_He regarded her coldly. "You want to live alongside the brat," he stated, and she did not question how he knew. She already knew how. "The price is not small, spirit-mage."_

_If this was his way of scaring her—and simultaneously avoiding the topic of his old love—it did not work. Or perhaps it did, if her twitching fingers wanted to protest. But it wasn't as horrible as she had expected it to be. If anything, this was almost pleasant. It meant he was willing to lay out the terms._

_So Lucy lifted her chin. "Give me your worst."_

_His stoic face twitched for the briefest of seconds, and she felt victorious, knowing that she had irritated the god to give her what she wanted._

神

"Ah, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Lucy beamed instantly. She felt better seeing the two rulers in front of her. It gave her comfort knowing that there were still people above her, and the idea that she was at the top—that she was to rule alongside Zeref… it was enough to send her stomach churning. She wasn't used to all of this.

Not long ago, she had merely been a daughter. Then a girl. A simple woman that had wished for a simple life.

 _Life_ , it seemed, had different plans for her.

Zeref's smooth diplomatic voice interrupted her train of thought. "We are here to make an offer," he began, and simultaneously, the two rulers' eyes lit up with interest. "Well," he paused, chuckling, "more of a negotiation really. A compromise?"

Lucy pursed her lips. "Zeref…"

Laughter graced his voice. "Most of the countries have surrendered and agreed to remain under our rule," he explained, unwavering and rightfully fearless. She wanted to roll her eyes. "However, Lucy and I decided to give you more benefits than the rest—that is, if you agree."

The king leaned his chin against his knuckles, stern eyes regarding the two mages pensively. "And what makes you think we will?"

The swish-hiss of the queen's gown filled the momentary silence before Lucy answered, "That's because Pergrande will remain its own country. You two will still be its acting rulers in return, while we will be Earthland's Emperor and Empress." Ah, it _still_ felt wrong to say that. "There will be an influx in produce. More trade routes will open and it will remain the trading capital of Ishgar."

"Furthermore," Zeref added, "you will receive a higher percentage than the rest of the countries and we will provide aid and protection around the clock. Meaning, I will send over a third of my soldiers to add to your Royal Guard. Taxes will remain the same, but it does not necessarily mean a bad thing. The trade between countries should give more than enough for the people, and they are given free pass to enter and leave the other countries if they wish so."

Isabel clasped her hands together on her lap. "Even Alakitasia?"

" _Especially_ Alakitasia."

The king hummed and rubbed his chin. "What is the condition?"

Zeref threw a glance at his lover and she nodded, taking the wheel. "In return, your mages are to be at our disposal. All the guilds will answer to us. They will come to the front lines once we have need for them and aid in other external affairs—when necessary. However, we will not pay them any more than what you are paying them. The most we can give is to offer residence in Vistarion and a position at the Imperial Guard."

Her lover folded his arms across his chest with a lift of his brow. "I believe that is more than enough? Pergrande will be prosperous, and your mages will not have to worry much about Alvarez not paying them more than usual."

"It is a good offer indeed," Isabel commented softly. "But I would like to know—why?"

Lucy and Zeref looked at each other, and they both smiled. She turned to face the queen who had once helped a lost girl, and the gentle sighing of Isabel's skirts brought back memories from the very first day. She remembered the ache in her chest; the helplessness. Everything unpleasant but—

"This had been our home."

—there was nothing to regret.

神

_She was in tremendous pain._

_It felt as if her insides were being picked apart; bones shattering and re-forming into something that was_ not _her. But no sound would leave her throat, and her mouth remained open in a silent scream._

" _I will grant you your wish under two conditions," Ankhseram drawled, his voice echoing all around her. "First, you are to void your contracts with all of your spirits."_

_She could not see him._

" _You will never wield another key for eternity and the heavens shall shun you for it."_

_A gasp left her lips at the scorching heat that traced the pathways of her blood._

" _As for the second condition…"_

_His fingers found her chin, lifting it ever so slightly so she could drown in the endless swirling black of his eyes._

_He smiled coldly. "You will see for yourself…"_

_It was the last thing she heard before the flames devoured her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are three kanjis in this part.
> 
> 昇 - rise  
> 火 - light  
> 神 - god


End file.
